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Gay Life/bf secretly on craigslist looking up t4m


Hi there, I really have never asked for any advice online before,but right now I am desprate. My boyfriend whom I have been with for 2 years and we've had a very serious realationship together,has recently been on craigslist looking up T4M. I found this when i went into his e mail a few weeks ago,which yes I invaded his privacy.However it was a bad feeling I had that something was going on or about to.We had been argueing for a few days when this happened. I found it the day that he had sent the response. I was devastated,and still am. It was an ad for someone coming to the city we live in just for the weekend and looking for a good time. I wouldnt talk to him for a few days after i found this,and this person was coming 3 days after all this happened. I also remember a few weeks before any of this I noticed craigslist on his phone in his webpages. I recall when i asked him about it he just srugged it off. I havent brought it up but now I realize he was on it before this one day when we fought. I am really really searching my heart about all of this, I love him so much,but theres a very long list of things hes already put me through since Ive been with him and so so many are to do with infidilty. Very spread apart but still has all happened. As well as he has treated me awful so many times.Too many to count.But yet claims he loves me so much and all this. After i found the e mail he got really defensive and angry calling me things even though in my eyes I was the one who was right to feel so angry. After the first day he was begging me to talk to him,telling me how upset he was and everything and that he had never spoke to this person after the inital contact and never did respond to any of his/her texts. which I did not and still do not believe. I forgave him for sending the message with his "stats" to this person after a few days and got back together, knowing at that point that hes bi>which I did not know before, and we didnt really talk about. Then 3 weeks after all this happened (last week) he received a text saying (miss u) and i received this message as well ,I think this person texted me first accidently meaning to text it to him.
It was the same person from craigslist that he swore he didnt meet after or respond to any texts after....So naturally I freaked out. I told him it was over and clearly he had met with this person and did have sex with this person. He swears up and down he did not, and that the person is nuts. He was sooo upset about it all,constantly texting me telling me how much he loves me and cant live without me and everything. I felt really bad and really confused about it all,I really dont know what to beleive or what to think anymore. I know I will never trust him and I never really have I never really had the chance he was bad from the get go.
I dont know what to do, I am beyond depressed about all of this, and I am acting like such a bitch everytime i think about it. It just feels to me now that we are back together and he thinks that hes comvinced me this didnt happen, that everything is so quickly back to normal. And I deserve so much better then that, I just dont feel that any of this is sinscere. I dont know how I feel I am very depressed about everything to do with this right now. I have never felt so confused and hurt in all of my life, and how can I build anything or have a life with someone when I know that they havent come clean with me or had a to speak. I am a very loving and accepting person,but not when I am being deceived and lied to, please help.
st johns


If one of your friends came to you and told you what you've told me, what would your advice be? Would you hesitate for a moment to tell her that this guy is bad news and she needs to move on? I'm guessing that's exactly what you'd tell your friend. And that is what I am telling you now. Someone who cheats on you and treats you awfully does not love you and does not deserve the amount of emotional energy you are expending on him. I don't care how sweet he can be at time. He should never treat you awful. Dump him Marie. If things are bad now, they are only going to get worse as the relationship evolves. Cut  your losses and find a man who treats you the way you deserve to be treated!


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Tedd Adams


I can answer questions related to gay life in general, but also specifically questions about gay youth, coming out, dealing with family issues, religion and homosexuality, and workplace issues. I have also visited many of the popular gay travel destinations and can give you advice on what is worth seeing and what is not.

AVISO: También, puedo responder a preguntas en español.


I have been a volunteer facilitator for a state-sponsored gay youth support group, where we dealt with all of the issues mentioned above. I have also been active in the local chapter of PFLAG.

Human Rights Campaign Oklahomans for Equality Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)

Tulsa World, Muskogee Phoenix, Tulsa Family News, About Business Magazine, Contributor to the book "I Can't Believe You Asked That!", by Phillip J. Milano

Associates degree, Biblical Studies, Kentucky Christian College
Bachelors of Science, John Brown University, Psychology
Masters in Organizational Management, University of Phoenix (Tulsa OK campus).

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