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Greetings !
During my late 30's,  I went through a rather heavy personal and identity crisis that was a long time in coming.  I had several  flings with other males -- some of who were married -- but all these encounters were discreet and D/D FREE.  Needless to say, neither of these encounters proved satisfactory to either myself nor to them.  I came to regret that any of these occurred and do wish to put them behind me.   Luckily, I never heard from any of these people again --- one married guy in particular had sent me an angry email 8 years ago but have not heard from him since.
My question is this ---- can I put these experiences behind me for good or am I to expect down the road any of these people to resurface and cause trouble to me and my family ?  I am now in my mid-50's and no longer interested in any of these 'adventures'- in fact, I am no longer interested in relationships of any kind.
Please advise.
Thanks !

Hi Albert

Individuals being individuals, it's impossible to predict what other people may or may not do, but it sounds like quite a number of years have passed since you've had any contact with any of them. It's not likely you'll encounter any of them going forward. Of course, this depends on circumstances and you're short on details about your own life and activities. If you have many mutual friends with any of these people, that certainly increases your chances of coming in contact, but it sounds like you're content to lead a pretty insular life, so that's probably not a concern either.

Best wishes,


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Tedd Adams


I can answer questions related to gay life in general, but also specifically questions about gay youth, coming out, dealing with family issues, religion and homosexuality, and workplace issues. I have also visited many of the popular gay travel destinations and can give you advice on what is worth seeing and what is not.

AVISO: También, puedo responder a preguntas en español.


I have been a volunteer facilitator for a state-sponsored gay youth support group, where we dealt with all of the issues mentioned above. I have also been active in the local chapter of PFLAG.

Human Rights Campaign Oklahomans for Equality Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)

Tulsa World, Muskogee Phoenix, Tulsa Family News, About Business Magazine, Contributor to the book "I Can't Believe You Asked That!", by Phillip J. Milano

Associates degree, Biblical Studies, Kentucky Christian College
Bachelors of Science, John Brown University, Psychology
Masters in Organizational Management, University of Phoenix (Tulsa OK campus).

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