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Gay Life/How do find out?


I'm a 17 year old girl and I talk this 19 year old guy (nothing serious). We met last year, but he graduated from high school so I don't know him very well.We talk every now and then but the more we talk, the more I take a bit more interest in him...
but I'm not sure if he's heterosexual or not.
I've seen pictures of him about to kiss a guy, I've encountered him wearing leggings and even his facebook status says he's married to a guy but on the contrary, he is naturally careless and free and may just take fun in that. He also finds miley cyrus attractive (o.o). So I'm not sure.
I feel like he may feel offended if I ask him and he's not. But if I don't, I don't want to try to pursue him at some point only to find that he isn't interested in females.
Is there a 'polite' way to ask?

Hi Wonder

I think given all the evidence you have, you have to assume he IS gay until you have reason to suspect otherwise. Perhaps as you get to know him better, it will become perfectly obvious. If you really get to know someone and they are open about their sexuality, you will know one way or another sooner or later. But yes, don't embarrass yourself by pursuing someone who in all likelihood is indeed gay. If you find out otherwise, lucky surprise.

Best wishes,


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Tedd Adams


I can answer questions related to gay life in general, but also specifically questions about gay youth, coming out, dealing with family issues, religion and homosexuality, and workplace issues. I have also visited many of the popular gay travel destinations and can give you advice on what is worth seeing and what is not.

AVISO: También, puedo responder a preguntas en español.


I have been a volunteer facilitator for a state-sponsored gay youth support group, where we dealt with all of the issues mentioned above. I have also been active in the local chapter of PFLAG.

Human Rights Campaign Oklahomans for Equality Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)

Tulsa World, Muskogee Phoenix, Tulsa Family News, About Business Magazine, Contributor to the book "I Can't Believe You Asked That!", by Phillip J. Milano

Associates degree, Biblical Studies, Kentucky Christian College
Bachelors of Science, John Brown University, Psychology
Masters in Organizational Management, University of Phoenix (Tulsa OK campus).

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