Gay Life/Gay people


Hi iam gift i stay in southafrica.i am 14 and live with both parents and my two sisters who are yonger than me.i started being gay at the age of 11 when i started wearing old female clothes like dresses but i did that when i was alone at my badroom were no one could see me thats ho it started. As time went by when i was 13 years old i started to see boys more attractive to me i always fantasided of a boy toching me like no other person did before i sleep. I havent told any one about this but some people stil think i am gay but i never confersed to them . Like my father he thinks i am gay but does not ask me directly he makes excuses like "gift why don't yu watch socca i have never seen aboy who doesn't like socca " he says and he hates gays to my own percpective because he tells me that he thinks gay people are devil because they are not on the bible but my mother bielieves that bieng gay is one of the uncureable sickness .so my qeustion is do think its a good idea for me to come all out at this age of 14 or wait until i have finished studying when i have my own jorb house and every thing else and another qeustion is how can i find some one like me who will love me and understand me.



Hi Gift,

I am sorry your parents have set views on gay people.

Now I came out earlier and it was hard but it can be worse for you.

I would suggest coming out once you have moved out. In that case, if there is a backlash and they don't take it well then you don't have to worry about being kicked out or treated badly with no where to go.

I know it can be hard since you want to be yourself and come out but sometimes to make sure you are ok, wait till you have moved out. It can make it that much easier.

I hope this helps

It will be hard but I think it may be the best for you in your situation.  

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Toby Fuller


I can help with your questions about coming out, dealing with people after coming out, relationships and how to handle the community with being gay and dealing with life after and before coming out, the thing is that, you don't need to do any of this alone.


Being a gay male myself, I have already experienced coming out, having to deal with family, friends, the world etc. I have dated before and have had bad experiences that I would like other people to avoid. Also trying to deal with school while I was there.

I have a degree in English Literature and Mass Communications

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