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Hi Gary, Hope you are doing well.

I am 32yr old gay, was in a relationship with a guy for 1.5 yr. I broke up with him after i found out that he had been cheating on me repeatedly. After break up, for almost 1 year, he kept on chasing to convince me that he loved me. I made it very clear to him that we had no future together anymore. I had to go through a bad and agonizing phase during and after the break-up.

It's been almost 1 and half yr that I am not in touch with him at all yet I still think of him every single day. Still, sometimes I feel like crying. We live in the same city.

Gary, do you think its a long time for holding on such feelings? Shall i give myself more time or take some professional help? I really don't want to go back in the relationship, however there is a thought which keeps lurking inside my mind that we may reunite again someday and things will be different. Any advice? please??

Thanking you in anticipation

Hi Deepak,

I'm sorry that you have been going through a bad time. Relationships can be so complicated sometimes.

I have always held the position that "once a cheater, always a cheater". But I also believe people make mistakes and can change their ways if they really want to do so. Do you think he is the type of person that could promise never to cheat again and stick to the promise? You would have to find that answer in your heart.

You need to help yourself first and professional counseling would be a good way to start. You may find that after speaking to a therapist that you can do better than someone like him and that a true and honest soul mate is somewhere out there.

A break up or a betrayal can be very painful. It takes time for the hurt to heal. Go easy on yourself and take it one day at a time. Live in the moment and don't dwell on the past or think too far into the future.

I wish you all the best,

Gay Life

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I can answer questions about coming out as well as dealing with the death of a partner or spouse. I am very compassionate and caring and will often rely on my own life experiences of coming out and loss of a loved one to help others. Losing someone you love is never easy and being in a gay relationship can often add to that feeling of isolation and loneliness.


I have worked closely with Mass Equality to fight for the right for people of all genders and lifestyles to get married. I have also participated in many LGBT Grief Support Groups.

Gay Men's Bereavement Group

BA- English-Sociology-Psychology I year - New England School of Law

Awards and Honors
National Honor Award for Bereavement and Grief

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