Gay Life/inquiry


I heard that you can NOT get HIV through oral sex between 2 gay men even if the semen is swallowed provided that the reciever doesn't have any open mouth sores?

Is this true & would canker sores count?

I've been getting emails from this guy that I used to work with& he said things like "he feels like he's not living the life he wants to sexually & maybe a spell would help" so I contacted a spellcaster on his behalf (stupid I know because I really think it was the spellcaster/imposter writing all these emails to me)...anyway, I wrote to the REAL person and told him if he was the one who sent me those emails (since I really wasn't sure if it was him or some imposter) & I included that part about him not living his life sexually...He emailed me back a very angrily defensive saying that he had to explain the letter to his mother....who obviously read it
My thing is what did he have to explain, he just had to say that I'm a kook...unless he really was you think I'm right or just making something out of nothing?

Hi Jeff.

It is possible to contract HIV through oral sex. It's unlikely, but entirely possible. The chances are increased if you have blood contact. If you have abrasions in your mouth (including "bleeding gums") and he has any small (possibly unnoticeable) abrasions on his penis, then possibility of infection is increased.

Personally, if I was aware of someone having HIV/AIDS, then I wouldn't risk unprotected sex of any kind, regardless or the level of risk.

A canker, if you mean mouth ulcer (we rarely use the term "canker" here), would probably increase chances of infection because it's an open sore.

I'm more concerned you're referring to a chancre. If he has a chancre (a painless sore on his penis or other contact area), then by no means should you touch it as they are a symptom of primary syphilis. Syphilis can be treated with penicillin, but in the third stage (which can occur up to 30 years later) it can cause serious organ and brain damage as well as be passed on to any children you might have causing deformities.

Personally, I wouldn't put my trust in a "spellcaster". Everyone is entitled to their own spiritual beliefs, but I would be cautious about placing a large amount of trust in a "spellcaster", especially when his or her "knowledge" can directly affect you or the lives around you.

The person you're talking about might have serious issues with his sexuality. You have to be careful about sending notes or emails or making phone calls regarding these issues as everyone and their families react differently. I was very lucky and had a very open-minded and accepting family, but a lot of gay men have families who are, unfortunately, angry or upset by their sexuality.

Hope this helps,

Gay Life

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Questions relating to coming out to friends and family, social issues, issues in the workplace, relationship issues, issues relating to gay life in general. Issues relating to gay sex, protection and sexually transmitted infections and worries about first time gay sex. I can also answer questions in relation to being gay and religion.


I am a 30 year old gay man and have been out since I was 15 at high school. Although I am not religious, I attended Catholic schools and have experience dealing with pressures religion can place on a gay person. I have a wide variety of friends from all different backgrounds, races, sexualities, religions, etc. I have also had several relationships, am sexually experienced and have an understanding of relationship issues and dilemmas, sexual issues and experience of the gay scene. Although I have plenty of experience of the gay scene, I am not personally interested/involved in it anymore. Most of my current friends are actually straight males and I'm not particularly involved in any scene at all. Therefore, I can quite easily talk to guys about issues they would rather not associate with "gay" - confusion, bi-curious issues and just normal uncertainties men might have. I have no promblem discussing issues with anyone regardless of sexuality or gender, etc. (within reason of course).

Occupation - NHS Scotland (National Health Service Scotland) - part-time. Part-time study.

Currently studying BA Honours in English Language & Literature and have previously studied Psychology at university level. Four A's at Higher level Psychology, Sociology, Philosophy and English.

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