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Gay Life/Curious query re gay lifestyle



I am, technically, asexual(sort of a wholly passive, wholly uninterested heterosexual, sort of in the Nikola Tesla/Isaac Newton/Buddha  mold), in a manner of speaking and have a few questions:-

1) What percentage of gays would you estimate take drugs? I am just curious as I thought(?) that the percentage thereof was much higher than for heterosexuals.

2) Is it acceptable to talk about "homosexuals" rather than "gays", or do only the anti-LGBT community ever do that? The first term seems more literal, so to speak.
3) As an asexual, I find that I get constantly discriminated against. Now, I know that gays have their own means of support(gay clubs, certain vocations/activities which are very gay-dominated such as acting/opera etc.).However, one cannot always pick and choose one's work-colleagues or off-work acquaintances  so I am sure that there are various standard methods gay people use to avoid bullying. Any suggestions/recommendations welcome! I don't mean lying about having a girlfriend or whatever, as I am a hopeless liar.

In my own case, I have had idiots call me "gay" on the absurd  asumption that if I am not openly interested in women then I "must be playing for the other team". There is no genuine asexual community I can adhere to out there, unless I go religious and join a monastery(lol). I suppose it is a matter of social dominance as well, and have plans on becoming self-employed in the near future  as that can help(being a lowly employee always in danger of being fired is a submissive thing, whereas self-employed people are seen to be more in charge of their lives).

Hi Edwin,

1) I don't really know but I sure do hope the number of gay and straight people that take drugs is low to none.

2) I think both are fine. Most gay people I think just refer to themselves as gay. But they should just be called by their name like everyone else.

3) I think your sexual orientation is really nobody's business but your own. If you are being bullied then that is not acceptable. I don't know how old you are but you should report it.

I think you need to be very careful about how you discuss certain topics so that it doesn't come across as stereotyping. Labeling people or to say more gay people take drugs or that there are "gay-dominated vocations and activities" or "standard methods gays use to avoid bullying" can all sound very offensive to some people.

Drugs aren't good and everyone gay or straight should be allowed to work in any field, be called by their name and not their sexuality and bullying is not acceptable under any circumstances.  


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I can answer questions about coming out as well as dealing with the death of a partner or spouse. I am very compassionate and caring and will often rely on my own life experiences of coming out and loss of a loved one to help others. Losing someone you love is never easy and being in a gay relationship can often add to that feeling of isolation and loneliness.


I have worked closely with Mass Equality to fight for the right for people of all genders and lifestyles to get married. I have also participated in many LGBT Grief Support Groups.

Gay Men's Bereavement Group

BA- English-Sociology-Psychology I year - New England School of Law

Awards and Honors
National Honor Award for Bereavement and Grief

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