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Gay Life/Curious question



I am more or less asexual, not gay, but am curious about one thing, since I am always being bullied by heterosexuals for not being interested in sex/women. How do gays like you protect themselves against anti-gay types? I am obviously not referring to the obvious, such as use  of violence or seeking the protection of the law or choosing only to mix with other gay people. I was looking for less extreme, more effective options, such as dealing with some odious(heterosexual) beta-male in the workplace. Thing is, short of joining a monastery(lol), the last option(mixing with fellow celibates) is unrealistic for me, violence is also a bit drastic an option and unrealistic when people can form groups of bullies against a lone individual victim, and my past personal experience of authority has always been that it is innately corrupt and unwilling to genuinely help victims of crime - besides, bullying can be quite subtle if done by sociopaths who wish to stick within the law. Any suggestions welcome!

Hi Edwin

Several things. For one, you just have to be proud of who you are. Others don't get to determine your own self worth. When other make fun of you for any personal characteristic, you just take that characteristic as a point of pride and emphasize it even more.

Secondly, unless the person bothering me is someone I care deeply about (friend, family), why should I give a moments thought to their opinion? Seriously, they are just another 1 person out of billions, why would I care what they think just because they happen to be the person in front of me at the moment. Truth is, I don't care.

Finally, I am fortunate enough to work for a company that has a VERY strong track record of support for LGBT employees, and this is consistently reinforced from the top down, so it's not an issue in my workplace.

Hope that helps,


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Tedd Adams


I can answer questions related to gay life in general, but also specifically questions about gay youth, coming out, dealing with family issues, religion and homosexuality, and workplace issues. I have also visited many of the popular gay travel destinations and can give you advice on what is worth seeing and what is not.

AVISO: También, puedo responder a preguntas en español.


I have been a volunteer facilitator for a state-sponsored gay youth support group, where we dealt with all of the issues mentioned above. I have also been active in the local chapter of PFLAG.

Human Rights Campaign Oklahomans for Equality Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)

Tulsa World, Muskogee Phoenix, Tulsa Family News, About Business Magazine, Contributor to the book "I Can't Believe You Asked That!", by Phillip J. Milano

Associates degree, Biblical Studies, Kentucky Christian College
Bachelors of Science, John Brown University, Psychology
Masters in Organizational Management, University of Phoenix (Tulsa OK campus).

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