Gay Life/why is this?


How come a gay man can get HIV after one time of unprotected sex but  straight men who impregnate several different women (as seen on talk shows with a paternity theme) do not nor do the women get it just a lubrication thing or just different tissue composition for the anus and vagina?

Hi Jeff.

The lining of the anus and rectum are thin and can be more easily damaged than the lining of the vagina. Lubrication is also important as the rectum doesn't produce a natural lubricant in the same way the vagina does. Not using adequate lubricant during anal sex is likely to increase chances of damage or tears to the anus and/or rectum, therefore increasing the possibility of transmission of HIV and other STDs. This applies to both men and women engaging in anal sex.

"Straight men who impregnate several different women" can and do get HIV. Just because the ones that do might not go on talk shows, doesn't mean they don't exist. The high rates of HIV in Sub-Saharan Africa, including HIV passed from mother to baby, is proof enough that straight men and women can give one another HIV.    

Hope this helps,

Gay Life

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Questions relating to coming out to friends and family, social issues, issues in the workplace, relationship issues, issues relating to gay life in general. Issues relating to gay sex, protection and sexually transmitted infections and worries about first time gay sex. I can also answer questions in relation to being gay and religion.


I am a 30 year old gay man and have been out since I was 15 at high school. Although I am not religious, I attended Catholic schools and have experience dealing with pressures religion can place on a gay person. I have a wide variety of friends from all different backgrounds, races, sexualities, religions, etc. I have also had several relationships, am sexually experienced and have an understanding of relationship issues and dilemmas, sexual issues and experience of the gay scene. Although I have plenty of experience of the gay scene, I am not personally interested/involved in it anymore. Most of my current friends are actually straight males and I'm not particularly involved in any scene at all. Therefore, I can quite easily talk to guys about issues they would rather not associate with "gay" - confusion, bi-curious issues and just normal uncertainties men might have. I have no promblem discussing issues with anyone regardless of sexuality or gender, etc. (within reason of course).

Occupation - NHS Scotland (National Health Service Scotland) - part-time. Part-time study.

Currently studying BA Honours in English Language & Literature and have previously studied Psychology at university level. Four A's at Higher level Psychology, Sociology, Philosophy and English.

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