AboutAdriaan Pretorius Expertise Any questions on how to come out, handling people close to you, handling the pressures of being gay in society, going out, seeking a partner, etc. are welcome. I live in South Africa and may have a unique perspective on gay live, as gays do not live openly and have been scorned for a long time here. If you need to speak to someone, and no one wants to listen, I will try my best to be a friend when you have none.
Experience I am a gay male who have lived the life as someone that had to hide it from everyone for a long time until coming out some years back. I know how it feels to be 'in' and 'out' and have had diverse experiences in relationships. I have had friends who hated gay life, gay bashers, friends who understood me as well has both spectrums in my family too: family that took me for who I am and family that 'disinherited' me.
Education/Credentials I have a postgraduate degree in Science. I have worked together with homosexual and heterosexuals in my environment.
Question Hi Adrian, Great to see a guy from South Africa, I envy your liberal Constitution and the Bill of Rights that includes protection for lesbians and gays. And of course your right to same-sex marriage.
Question: There are three prominent queer activists in your country I'm aware of, Zackie Achmat, Edwin Cameron and Glenn de Swardt. Do you know them, and what are these activists doing now that you have same-sex marriage in your country? Do they think the battle (so to speak) is won?
Answer Hey there Brett!
Yes, we never have always had a very liberal Bill of Rights, not so much detailing rights, but just very generic so it was easier for us to find solutions for our problems. I myself stayed in a relationship with my fiance for 4 years, waiting for marriages to become legal. As far as the protection went for gays and lesbians, we were 'covered' under the umbrella of 'minority groups'. The reality however is not that simple.
Zackie Achmat is not so much a gay activist, but rather someone that has lived the life, had the pain and lives with the consequences of not having proper knowledge and oppertunities for living as a gay man. He is an AIDS activist and has been in the political circles for over thirty years as far as I can remember.
Judge Cameron is somewhat of a hero here, being someone so high up with our leaders and still being down to earth. He grew up round about where I still live, in my city, went to my school even! He is also HIV+ and actively fights for the rights of people who suffer from AIDS.
As far as I can remember, Glenn de Swardt organizes the Mother City Queer Pride, probably our biggest gay parade, held in Cape Town. I do not know much about him, I apologize!
The battle of gay rights in our country is far from over. We have a very very long history of conversatism and male domination. There is no public display of being gay yet, unless you are in a Pride parade. Considering our bill, it doesn't really solve any of the social problems inherent in gay relationships. We are so hungry for change that we blindly stumbled into our new choices to get married and the other rights associated with it. The divorce rate of our country have grown very quickly since gay marriages were legalized. We have only been able to get married for almost a year now, and the some couples are already divorced! Giving the people the rights do not give people the know-how.
Thank you for an insightful question, Brett, I apologize if my English is not perfect, it is not my first language :-)
