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About Gary
(Top Expert on this page)

Expertise
I can answer questions about coming out as well as dealing with family members who are (and are not) supportive. I can also answer questions about gay marriage.

Experience
I have worked closely with Mass Equality to fight for the right for people of all genders and lifestyles to get married.

Education/Credentials
BA- English-Sociology-Psychology I year - New England School of Law

   

You are here:  Experts > People/Relationships > Gay Life > Gay Life

Questions Answered By Expert  Gary 
In Category  Gay Life

SubjectDate Asked

Communication11/19/2009
  Q: I have been with my boyfriend for less than a year. He is from Puerto Rico and I am from Texas. We ...
  A: Marshall, I hear this problem very often and the plain fact is that some people are just not ...
playing11/8/2009
  Q: me and my friend would play around in class we would touch each other penis,balls and buts some time ...
  A: Michael, You don't say how old you are but this may just be "experimenting" if you are a teen. I ...
Relationship with "Straight" guy?10/16/2009
  Q: I am a professional who happened to meet another professional man when he happened to have rented an ...
  A: Donie, I must say this is an interesting situation to say the least. You mention that your wife is ...
boyfriend10/15/2009
  Q: My relationship has just ended and he was a cheat and a lier. But I love him so much and I want him ...
  A: Mark, I'm sure you love him but do you really want to live the rest of your life with a cheat and ...
Not sure what to do?10/14/2009
  Q: I am hoping you can make this easier on me? For years now, at least 20, I have known that I am gay ...
  A: Jody, You are not alone. There are many men out there in your same situation. If you come out to ...
open relation and cheating10/9/2009
  Q: I've been in a long distance relationship for almost a year, we love each other but a week ago my ...
  A: I believe honesty is the best policy. Explain to him what happened and let him know you feel ...
i am a women that really love a gay guy9/30/2009
  Q: Question i am in love with my best friend. he says he is in love with me. that he wants kids and he ...
  A: Britteny, If he is truly gay an intimate and long-lasting relationship (i.e. marriage) is never ...
Am I GAY?7/24/2009
  Q: I am 13 almost 14 and I like gay porn I even tried anal sex with a friend and liked it, sometimes I ...
  A: Mike, It is possible you are gay but you are also very young and still at an age where you may be ...
How to meet other gay guys7/13/2009
  Q: My name is Jonathan and I'm gay. I'm 21 years old and for the most part I'm in the closet. I'm ...
  A: Jonathan, It is fine to stay in the closet as far as your aunt and uncle are concerned. They don't ...
How to meet other gay guys7/12/2009
  Q: My name is Jonathan and I'm gay. I'm 21 years old and for the most part I'm in the closet. I'm ...
  A: Jonathan, It would be much easier for you to meet gay people and have gay friends if you were out ...
hocd6/19/2009
  Q: Im almost 22. I've been dating this wonderful girl for 6 years. I've always loved her and have felt ...
  A: Alphie, If you have no sexual attraction for men then most likely you are not gay. It sounds more ...
gay life6/18/2009
  Q: my friend is a gay. he is in love with a girl and intrested to lead a normal life with family. but ...
  A: Priya, He may marry her but he will never be truly happy or complete with a woman if he is gay and ...
Assessing sexuality6/7/2009
  Q: Hey everyone. My name's Lenin. I'm 14 years old, and I've been struggling with something for quite ...
  A: It is difficult to answer this question because I am not sure if you are a girl or a boy? You may ...
RE6/3/2009
  Q: Is it normal for a homosexual to be afraid of telling his parents because I know I am gay and I dont ...
  A: Paul, It is very normal. Every gay person feels like that at some point. You don't mention your ...
Dealing with an anal-retentive boyfriend5/30/2009
  Q: Hey Gary! I need help and advice on what to do with my boyfriend, Chris of 5 months, who is anal ...
  A: Shaun, I do think there is hope for you. This is not a major issue and one that can be rectified. ...
Crushed....5/16/2009
  Q: Sorry for bothering you with my problem you probably have a lot more you could be dealing with. I ...
  A: Ben, It sounds like you for sure have a crush on this boy. From what you have told me about him ...
fetish5/15/2009
  Q: i am hoping u could answer a question of mine even tho im not gay. i am a 18 y/o white/hispanic ...
  A: Aaron, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It is very normal for you to be curious about different ...
sexual attraction....5/13/2009
  Q: My question is I am so curious about being with another guy but I am too shy and worried I don't ...
  A: Joe, This is a natural desire for many people. You may be bi-sexual and enjoy having sex with both ...
Sexuality and racism5/7/2009
  Q: I am writing an analytical paper on Nella Larsen's "Passing," and I am asking how much worse might ...
  A: Leah, This question I believe is very broad and would depend not only on demographics but also on ...
Gay Guilt...4/15/2009
  Q: I'm a 20 year old gay college student from Kansas. I came out to my mom a few months ago, but she ...
  A: I would suggest you seek some talk therapy with a social worker. In order to discover why you have ...
reaction4/12/2009
  Q: I'm a 27 year old straight woman. I am attracted to men emotionally and sexually and physically and ...
  A: Ana, You may be big-sexual. You may want to be "emotionally" with men but you may be "sexually ...
Gay Guilt...4/10/2009
  Q: I'm a 20 year old gay college student from Kansas. I came out to my mom a few months ago, but she ...
  A: K, You mention you were raised a Baptist Christian but have since become an atheist. I have to ...
My guy friend going out with my 14 year old brother!3/30/2009
  Q: I really need some help. Today my best guy friend who guy admitted to me that he is secretly going ...
  A: Mary, I think the main issue here is that your brother is a minor. That alone is a problem. I ...
am i a lesbian?3/3/2009
  Q: i'm a 14 year old girl and i have a question about whether i could be a lesbian. first of all, i'm ...
  A: Diana, The fact that you don't like to look at the human penis does not necessarily mean that you ...
Coming out3/3/2009
  Q: I am not sure how to start this email but I will give it try and hope it makes sense. Iam 30 ...
  A: Shantelle, Your story unfortunately is not unique. I have counseled many people who have the same ...
i think i am gay2/13/2009
  Q: i wear make up, i wax my , i brazilian wax myself and i play with my ass allot and enjoy it allot i ...
  A: Adam, You may be transgender. You really should go talk to someone like a therapist or even your ...
sigh.......2/6/2009
  Q: hey, i think i i'm gay since i'm sexualy attracted to men, but i have no other feelings for men, ...
  A: You don't mention how old you are but if you are in your teen years you may just be exploring your ...
i did talk him2/3/2009
  Q: Just the other day me and my boyfriend was going to toledo to go shopping and we stopped at my ...
  A: Brandon, You've confronted him with your feelings which is a good thing and he has told you that ...
why my boyfriend stares at my brother2/1/2009
  Q: Just the other day me and my boyfriend was going to toledo to go shopping and we stopped at my ...
  A: It sounds like he may be sexually attracted to your brother. But since your brother is straight the ...
Im gay and my parents don't trust me.1/30/2009
  Q: okay...rundown. i came out when i was like 16, that was 3 years ago. I'm 18 now. I'm a senior, so i ...
  A: That's unfortunate. Is moving out an option? If so, maybe it is time you got your own place so you ...
Confused1/26/2009
  Q: I am about to turn 20 and i am a virgin both with guys and girls. I have had several relationships ...
  A: Leo, You sound like you may have some attraction toward men (i.e. masturbating to gay porn). If ...
Im gay and my parents don't trust me.1/20/2009
  Q: okay...rundown. i came out when i was like 16, that was 3 years ago. I'm 18 now. I'm a senior, so i ...
  A: Jeremy, Always remember that trust is earned. Talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. Tell ...
Do you think my husband is bi-sexual?1/17/2009
  Q: I married a man 9 yrs younger, who is from Lebanon speaks little English. He isn't an Australian ...
  A: Kim, This is a complicated situation that you are in. It sounds to me that he may be gay but ...
What should I say?1/15/2009
  Q: I have a very close friend (I am FEMALE and he is MALE). We have known one another for years. We ...
  A: Marlo, I think honesty is the best policy. If he really cares about you talk to him about it. Tell ...
mixed feelings1/5/2009
  Q: okay, this is kind of confusing for me. so for as long as I can recall, I've gotten along with girls ...
  A: Jason, I apologize for taking so long to respond to you but I was away for the holidays. You ...
Coming out11/23/2008
  Q: I am a twenty year old going on twenty one and I am still in the closet. I have known that I was ...
  A: Aaron, You have already taken the biggest step toward coming out and you may not even realize it. ...
My Partner has Changed11/16/2008
  Q: My partner and I met when I was 19 and he was 25. We have been together 15 years now. We have been ...
  A: Rich, In any long-term relationship partners can start to get very set in their ways and this can ...
innate or inherited11/7/2008
  Q: 1. Where do you stand on the debate over whether homosexuality is innate or inherited? Why? 2. Also, ...
  A: Tim, Your question is basically based on what my "opinion" is so I will give that to you as a ...
staying in the gay closet11/1/2008
  Q: I am 56 and confused, always have been. I have gay fantasies at my age maybe more now than ever. I ...
  A: Larry, The answer to your question, "Am I doing it right by playing straight???" Is NO. It is ...
my son10/27/2008
  Q: My son, Jamie is 21 and I am very accepting of his sexuality. He's never had a proper boyfriend, ...
  A: Carole, Not knowing Mike I can't pass judgement on him but I can certainly understand your concern ...
Crush on str8 guy10/20/2008
  Q: Hey i dont really do this but ive got a crush on this guy at school how can i get a response ...
  A: You should ask him if he would like to do something. Go to the movie or grab something to eat. Get ...
my best friends gay son10/18/2008
  Q: my name is Jessica and my best friend Patti has a son who is 18yrs.old,and is gay.He hasn't come out ...
  A: In this situation honesty is the best policy. Your friend should sit down and discuss with her son ...
my nephew gay10/5/2008
  Q: i would like to know how i can tell if my nephew is gay he got married to his wife but he ask my ...
  A: If you love your nephew and have a close relationship with him why don't you simply ask him. If he ...
Advice10/2/2008
  Q: I have been with my (first) boyfriend for 1-1/2 years and I have only been out for about 2 years. I ...
  A: You should be honest with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel before you decide to move in ...
Why I'm I questioning my sexual indenity9/29/2008
  Q: Alright I am 23 years old straight male and never been on a date with a girl or kissed one and never ...
  A: You don't mention if you have never dated a girl or kissed one because you don't want to or you just ...
mariage et vie a atlanta9/26/2008
  Q: hello could you help please my boy friend live in Atlanta and me in France i would like live with he ...
  A: Gaetan, Gay marriage is not recognized on a federal level. It is only legal in a couple of states. ...
anal sex9/7/2008
  Q: o gay guy ...me n my bf r thinkin bout havin anal sex..how do we go about?...i know its not as easy ...
  A: Sabari, First and foremost you MUST use protection before having any kimd of sexual relations. If ...
trying to save my relationship8/7/2008
  Q: I have been in a relationship for 4 yrs now. In the begining it was great. Now its getting worse. My ...
  A: If that is what you feel you need to do then you should do it. If you live with him he may not feel ...
trying to save my relationship8/7/2008
  Q: I have been in a relationship for 4 yrs now. In the begining it was great. Now its getting worse. My ...
  A: It sounds like this is not a healthy relationship for either of you. Most certainly not you. Most of ...
what does this mean?8/4/2008
  Q: i have a very good gay friend of mine, we have known each other years and have traveled and spend ...
  A: There is a possibility that your friend might be bi-sexual. He may have an attraction for both men ...
gay8/3/2008
  Q: i am a single mum of 2 & hes just told me hes bin seeing a 27ry old man witch as bin buying him ...
  A: You don't mention how old he is but if he's a minor then what is happening is illegal and this older ...
how to get with him?6/24/2008
  Q: i have this friend that im really attracted to. i believe that hes straight but im sure every ...
  A: Aeron, You said he does not know you are gay so maybe he is also gay and you don't know it. Why ...
Potentially Unsafe Sex6/19/2008
  Q: I have an ethical dilemma. If I find out that a very good friend’s partner may be having ...
  A: John, I will assume here that your friend does not know his partner is even having sex outside of ...
Long Term Girlfriend, Confused, Can't Sleep :(6/13/2008
  Q: You seem to offer some good advice and I'd welcome anything you got to say on this one. I have been ...
  A: Aaron, This is happening to you because you may have some repressed feelings that you are not ...
age of consent laws6/13/2008
  Q: i was reading on age of consent in my state, Arkansas, it says the age of consent laws on gays and ...
  A: The Supreme Court in the USA has recently struck down laws that outlawed consensual, same-sex ...
Gay marrying a lesbian6/9/2008
  Q: I am a closeted gay, who is not intending to come out. Instead, I am considering to getting married ...
  A: Ralph, You may try Craigslist.com in the "personals" section or even Gay.com. Are you sure this ...
Confusion at Gym?6/4/2008
  Q: I am a gay female and I go to a all female gym every week. Since March 2008 I saw this young woman ...
  A: Shantelle, After reading your question and giving it much thought I think the best approach here ...
My boy friend is an Alcoholic5/28/2008
  Q: I have been with my boy friend almost 2 years, I met him when he was already an alcoholic, he used ...
  A: Andy, Nobody is truly "cured" of alcoholism. They are forever in "recovery". But while they are in ...
My boy friend is an Alcoholic5/27/2008
  Q: I have been with my boy friend almost 2 years, I met him when he was already an alcoholic, he used ...
  A: If he is making a conscious effort to be sober he will need you more now than ever before. Your ...
How can I deal with the friends around me?5/24/2008
  Q: Since the year of 2002, I have been discovered by my family, and I told them "yes I am gay", that ...
  A: Andy, Coming out is never easy but if you come out to your friends you will have a better ...
Life/Dating5/19/2008
  Q: Gary I'm 19 years old and unfortunately not gay, but bisexual. See, first thought, it is great ...
  A: Alex, Love has no gender when it is genuine and comes from the heart. Love the one you are with ...
HOW?????????5/8/2008
  Q: ok so i have been obsessed with this one guy since i moved here and i always thought that he might ...
  A: Tobi, You don't mention your age or if you are openly gay but the guy you like may or not be gay. ...
IS IT SAFE?5/2/2008
  Q: since we were both each other's firsts i was wondering if it was ok to have raw sex? i mean since we ...
  A: It is never safe to have unprotected sex. Period. Although you may feel 100% confident that your ...
gay marriage4/29/2008
  Q: Why are some people homophobic? Why is it so hard for people to accept gays as people? How can we ...
  A: Many people fear the unknown. People who are homophobic most likely don't know any gay people or ...
ref4/27/2008
  Q: Good day, Lets say you are a male but not gay. You are not interested in a gay relationship but want ...
  A: You would simply treat the person as you would anyone else gay or straight. With dignity and ...
I WANT IT TO FEEL GOOD4/20/2008
  Q: so my friend and i had SAFE sex for the very first timr and we were about to go all the way when his ...
  A: Above all you should be safe and use protection. That being said first there are many products out ...
why is it?4/19/2008
  Q: see i have this friend whom i love he is my best friend and has been ever since i moved here, he is ...
  A: It sounds like you are sexually attracted to your friend and falling in love with your crush. It can ...

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