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Gay Life/Questions Answered by Expert Jim Swanson
| Subject | Date Asked |
| Missing Out On Sex | 1/4/2011 |
| Q: I'm 22, gay, and virgin. For a long time, I've really despised the gay culture hypersexualism and ... A: Hey Nick, Your e-mail sounds like one I could have written when I was finally deciding I really was ... | |
| Straight guy admitting I'm gay | 12/26/2010 |
| Q: So...I am a 42 yo male divorcing after a 17 year marriage. We are divorcing for a variety of ... A: my straight-gay friend, I have to tell you that I did chuckle a bit when I read the subject of your ... | |
| coming out | 12/7/2010 |
| Q: I am came out to my school but I have not told my mom that I like boys yet. So yesterday some random ... A: Eric, Well, you pose a good question. Coming out is a very personal thing and it is different for ... | |
| Gay not sure | 11/29/2010 |
| Q: Going through divorce n a christian. Have a friend at work where I have gotten close to n she going ... A: Kim, Having been close friends for a while, does she know you? Does she know you are gay? Its not ... | |
| Gay not sure | 11/28/2010 |
| Q: Going through divorce n a christian. Have a friend at work where I have gotten close to n she going ... A: Kim, One thing you didn't mention is weather you know you are gay. I am assuming that you have come ... | |
| Gay love partnership | 11/19/2010 |
| Q: I am fall in love with boy his age 20 years old ,i am older than my age more than 40 now he is my ... A: I am glad that you have found someone to be in your life and that you have found love. My best ... | |
| Still Trying... | 10/8/2010 |
| Q: First off, the site wouldn't let me ask anymore follow up questions, so I had to restart a new one. ... A: Yes, of course I remember who you are. You have been in my thoughts and prayers the last couple of ... | |
| Don't Know What To Do | 10/7/2010 |
| Q: I’m an 18 year old guy and going to be 19 by the end of the year. Ever since I was younger I’ve had ... A: Let me start by explaining that we all need to come to terms with who we are in our own way and in ... | |
| Don't Know What To Do | 10/6/2010 |
| Q: I’m an 18 year old guy and going to be 19 by the end of the year. Ever since I was younger I’ve had ... A: My Dear Friend Kevin, Listen to me... I just want you to take a deep breath and try to relax a ... | |
| I'm so fucking confused!! I hate this torture!!! | 10/3/2010 |
| Q: I’m an 18 year old guy and going to be 19 by the end of the year. Ever since I was younger I’ve had ... A: Kevin, First off... I apologize for the delay in getting back to you. I was away from my e-mail ... | |
| HOCD help | 7/4/2009 |
| Q: my situation is this: I don't know what is going on with me, I've always like girls and they really ... A: The first thing I think you need to understand is that being gay is not something like a switch ... | |
| Gay | 7/1/2009 |
| Q: This is a serious question, but do gay men actually like anal sex? I've been told that most don't ... A: James, As for choosing to be gay, in my opinion, that is not possible. In fact, I don't see how ... | |
| Gay | 6/30/2009 |
| Q: This is a serious question, but do gay men actually like anal sex? I've been told that most don't ... A: It would be my opinion that some men do like it and some of course do not. Anal sex not only can ... | |
| How can I seam less gay? Why do homosexuals think it's ok to push their lifestyle on me? | 6/19/2009 |
| Q: Well... first of although I'm slightly homophobic, because I just don't understand homosexuality ... A: Hey Tim, Thanks for your questions. Gay, straight, bi... who knows what we are or what you are. ... | |
| sex | 6/11/2009 |
| Q: my name is eric 17 i realise i was into guys 2months ago when a guy told me he was in love with me ... A: First off... congratulations on coming to understand that you are gay. I hope your experience is as ... | |
| Gay Stereotypes: True or Not? and my growing disappointment in our community | 6/4/2009 |
| Q: Swanson (like the broth! That makes me smile), As I'm sure you are well aware this weekend, at ... A: Hey Matthew, Oh sweetie... don't be such a drama queen! I'm just kidding about that first remark ... | |
| relationship confusion | 6/3/2009 |
| Q: ) ... im with my bf for about 2.5 years ... im 26 he is 45.... he is really nice and he helped me a ... A: John, You are the one that needs to evaluate your situation. You need to decide if you are ... | |
| Am I Happy? | 6/2/2009 |
| Q: I am a 29yo male. Me and my partner (34) have been together for over 6 years, been living together ... A: I got to tell you that this is likely the most difficult question I have received over the years I ... | |
| I Know What I have To Do, I just Don't Know Why | 6/1/2009 |
| Q: I met this really great guy. We hit it off right away. For the first time in my life, I fell in ... A: Jake, I'm not sure I know what you are asking me but I do really understand what you are feeling ... | |
| Curious about my close friend | 5/7/2009 |
| Q: I am bi and realized I was so about five year ago. I've dated one or two people of the same sex. I'm ... A: Zack, Because you are bi, you should realize how difficult it can be to understand your sexuality. ... | |
| My Best Friend | 5/4/2009 |
| Q: I've been best friends with a guy named Kevin for about 2 years now. I'm a junior in school so I ... A: Hey John, Well, it does sound as though you have a little crush on Kevin even if you still believe ... | |
| God, my boyfriend, and I | 4/24/2009 |
| Q: I have been dating a guy for almost half of a year, and it's been great. However, I've been ... A: First off, congratulations on having a boyfriend for a half year. It takes some time to really know ... | |
| Can you really choose? | 11/30/2008 |
| Q: I'm 24 and I dated a guy for about 6 years and we were engaged for about 6 months. He cheated 2 ... A: Well for starters, I see you do understand that we do not choose to be gay or straight. It is just ... | |
| Looking atgood looking males | 11/28/2008 |
| Q: I am and always have been gay. My question is whether looking at good looking guys because they are ... A: Hey Dan, I don't know for sure but I suspect that it is quite normal to admire young men and boys ... | |
| am I a lesbian? | 11/4/2008 |
| Q: Ok...I am only 12 but I really need help! I think I might be a lesbian because i sometimes fantisize ... A: At the age of 12, it is possible that you may have some idea about your sexual orientation. However, ... | |
| A Relationship without Sex | 10/22/2008 |
| Q: Can a relationship survive without sex? My partner & I have been together for 14 yrs. We are ... A: I will start off by first telling you that this is not my area of expertise and you might try to ask ... | |
| Am I straight? | 10/19/2008 |
| Q: I'm 13.I'm a girl.I just turned 13 in the middle of September.I live in the east.I'm in the 8th ... A: Corrina, You needs to slow down and take a breath girl. I know you are anxious to find the answers ... | |
| One night | 10/6/2008 |
| Q: I need some advice. On tuesday 9/30 night I went out with my best friend. We go out and drink ... A: Hey Robby, Welcome to the world of dating and feeling your emotions at work. I guess this must be ... | |
| Gay Life | 9/30/2008 |
| Q: Well I just started working at Wal-Mart and there's this really cute guy that wont give me a sure ... A: Hey Gordo, Thanks for writing. By the way, just for the record... I don't think you asked a ... | |
| Opposition | 9/26/2008 |
| Q: Howdy Mr. Swanson. My name is Davy and I am in charge of a Gay Straight Alliance at my college. I ... A: Davy, I understand your organizational rules and suspect they are for the best. I also applaud your ... | |
| Opposition | 9/25/2008 |
| Q: Howdy Mr. Swanson. My name is Davy and I am in charge of a Gay Straight Alliance at my college. I ... A: Yeah... interesting to say the least. I certainly believe that being a gay Christian is not only ... | |
| A Complicated Relationship. | 9/19/2008 |
| Q: We met on Sept. 2006, we dated for a a month or two, nothing really serious. He decided that it ... A: Manny, Thanks for all the detail. I must say that it sounds to me as though you are looking for ... | |
| getting out the gayday | 9/16/2008 |
| Q: okay, so i live in Utah 20 years old, and i go to school at a college in the most conservative ... A: I remember when I had the same question. I was just starting to deal with coming out and I had all ... | |
| anal sex | 9/7/2008 |
| Q: o gay guy ...me n my bf r thinkin bout havin anal sex..how do we go about?...i know its not as easy ... A: I need to start by saying that this question is not in my area of expertise. I would suggest that ... | |
| closet | 9/5/2008 |
| Q: Im sure you hear a lot of the situations like mine.I knew at a early age of my gay tendency and also ... A: Well, yes.... this is not unlike what lots of other gay guys go through. We gays seem to have a ... | |
| Confused at Work | 8/31/2008 |
| Q: I just started working for a major corporation. I am a 23 year old male and fairly new to "the ... A: Well... bottom line, he might like you or you may be right in thinking he is a little crazy. I ... | |
| gay cathlics | 8/28/2008 |
| Q: I am gay and cathlic. But my parents raised me that it is against the religon. And I was told that ... A: It would be difficult for me to tell if your friend has a crush on you. You are in a much better ... | |
| gay cathlics | 8/27/2008 |
| Q: I am gay and cathlic. But my parents raised me that it is against the religon. And I was told that ... A: Hey Josh, The struggle to accept yourself as gay and to come to an understanding about being a gay ... | |
| What to do when you are trapped in the closet at home. | 8/3/2008 |
| Q: I just turned 18 and am going into my senior year of high school and I have known for the majority ... A: Hey Preston, Welcome to the same delema that so many gays your age have found themselves in. First ... | |
| Should I and what is he doin | 7/15/2008 |
| Q: For example everytime Im at his house he always follows me around wit his eyes and when our eyes ... A: James, As I said in my previous reply, I really think it is time that you and your friend just ... | |
| Should I and what is he doin | 7/14/2008 |
| Q: For example everytime Im at his house he always follows me around wit his eyes and when our eyes ... A: Well, from what you have told me, he is either gay of curious, or at least he likes you a lot. I ... | |
| .... the fuck???????/ | 7/6/2008 |
| Q: i was just wondering, see i'm a boy and have recently "DISCOVERED" my orientation, and i am in love ... A: Like you, your friend may still be struggling with his sexuality like you have been in the past. ... | |
| Attaction | 6/30/2008 |
| Q: I have asked you a question before, and fianlly after having accepted who I am. I started to ... A: First, your question about who is attracted to whom and how you should act is easy. Trust me, there ... | |
| I lost a friend | 6/2/2008 |
| Q: He was my best friend since I was eight and he was nine and a half. I remember that we had a ... A: Lilian, After thinking about you situation, I have to say that I really do not understand why your ... | |
| confused about new experiences with older man | 6/1/2008 |
| Q: I agree I am very forunate to have found him. While it is very new, different and confusing I'm ... A: Hey Kyle, I guess you are looking for someone to say that your relationship is perfectly normal and ... | |
| confused about new experiences with older man | 5/31/2008 |
| Q: I want to thank you for taking the time to read/reply to this as I'm sure you have plenty of ... A: From what you have told me, I would say you are very fortunate to have found a way to explore your ... | |
| Gay | 5/29/2008 |
| Q: My Brother he is 14... I think he is gay. he has only had one girl friend and it didn't go that ... A: I'm not sure what your question is but let me say a few things. First off, at 14, it is quite ... | |
| I think my son may be gay | 5/26/2008 |
| Q: he is soon to be 18yrs old. i have found evidence (diary in his room)saying that his friend Jack ... A: Obviously, I can not tell if your son is gay. You are in a much better position to make that ... | |
| could i be gay ? | 5/25/2008 |
| Q: ever since my last birthday ive been noticeing that girls that i look at are really hot and i feel ... A: In a case like this, you are always in a better position to know if you are gay that I am. Keep in ... | |
| DAMN!!!!!!!!!! | 5/8/2008 |
| Q: ok so i have been obsessed with this one guy since i moved here and i always thought that he might ... A: Tobi, I can imagine your frustration and confusion about what to do. However, you also realize that ... | |
| DOES HE LIKE ME????? | 3/26/2008 |
| Q: i was writing thanks to this really annoying problem that i am going through. As of 07 I came to ... A: Hey Toby, First off... congratulations on 'coming to terms with being bi". That is a major ... | |
| Am I Gay? | 3/24/2008 |
| Q: It's very weird. Only a week ago, I was able to masturbate to women, and i enjoyed it. I always ... A: Well..... it sounds to me as though you are starting to face some feelings you may have been ... | |
| Family Problems | 2/23/2008 |
| Q: I just came out and my family, which belong to AoG, are giving me a lot of trouble. My parents ... A: I am so sorry to hear that your family is treating you this way. Please know that there are many ... | |
| Guy trouble... | 2/20/2008 |
| Q: My name is Carl, i am male, i live in the UK, i am 16 and came out about three or four months ago. ... A: One thing to remember is that sexuality and sexual desires can change some and they do tend to ... | |
| how do i approach him | 2/16/2008 |
| Q: ok there is this guy and he is kinda straight but not really he hangs out with alot of other guys ... A: Hey Lamounte Well, it is very difficult for me to tell from here but you know... like you said, ... | |
| Am I Gay | 2/13/2008 |
| Q: I have a problem and I havent been able to find the answer. I imagine having sex with guys all the ... A: The first thing that I thought as I read your question was that you sound exactly like me when I was ... | |
| Gay or not | 2/5/2008 |
| Q: Hey jim, i am in 9 ninth grade and i think i might be gay. But i am not sure i only get hard when i ... A: .. I don't think it is unusual to be confused about your sexuality when in the ninth grade. I guess ... | |
| Open relationships | 1/26/2008 |
| Q: I am with this guy now for only officially a month...dating a month or two before we labeled ... A: Hey Bry, Well... it sounds to me as though you need to decide what YOU want out of a relationship. ... | |
| being gay | 1/9/2008 |
| Q: my name is Chance i am 18 years old and have an issue on my hands...I grew up in church and have ... A: First off, I want you to understand that you are talking to someone here that considered himself ... | |
| Seeking data | 12/23/2007 |
| Q: I am the coordinator of the Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance. We have a large section on ... A: I sounds to me like your work is much needed as I too have heard those stories. I also believe it is ... | |
| Boys | 12/5/2007 |
| Q: Well some times you see i really like him and i know he does too and i was wondering if therewas a ... A: From your question, I am not sure about a lot of things. However, I can tell you that at 15, you ... | |
| my friend | 11/26/2007 |
| Q: today at lunch my best guy friend told me and three of my friends that he was gay. He made us ... A: The first thing you need to realize is that your friend thinks a great deal of you and you should ... | |
| i think my son is gay | 11/3/2007 |
| Q: my son is 17 and 2 weeks ago when i saw him on a gay website,he came to me and told me that he is ... A: I think you are very fortunate to have a son that trusts you enough to be able to come to you and ... | |
| bisexual | 11/2/2007 |
| Q: how does God feel about me being bisexual? will i go to Hell? i am a catholic so am i going to be ... A: You have asked a lot of questions and I will try to answer them as best I can, I will not presume ... | |
| RE: Overcoming my exasperation | 10/30/2007 |
| Q: My name is Daniel and I am in my early 30's. I am a Christian who just happens to be...gay. I love ... A: I want to start by telling you that it is so good to hear from you and I only hope I can live up to ... | |
| hey | 10/19/2007 |
| Q: i am gay and there is this kid and i think that he is gay also and i really like him but i don't ... A: Jesse, I have two suggestions for you. First, think back to that one time when you went out with ... | |
| hey | 10/17/2007 |
| Q: i am gay and there is this kid and i think that he is gay also and i really like him but i don't ... A: I would really need to know a lot more about your situation and that of your 'friend' before I could ... | |
| hey | 10/16/2007 |
| Q: i am gay and there is this kid and i think that he is gay also and i really like him but i don't ... A: the gay guy, Well.... I suspect that your "gaydar" is working very well and that this "friend" of ... | |
| Is He Gay/Bi? | 10/8/2007 |
| Q: (Copied&Pasted) This is kind of just checking. Because one opinion is exactly that.one opinion. So ... A: Hummm... signs??? Well, all I can say is that there is only one sign I know of that might be ... | |
| Is He Gay/Bi? | 10/8/2007 |
| Q: (Copied&Pasted) This is kind of just checking. Because one opinion is exactly that.one opinion. So ... A: Well... this is the age old question isn't it? There are a few things involved here. First let me ... | |
| Massage | 9/28/2007 |
| Q: I was wondering if it was against the law to receive an erotic massage by trained and licensed men. ... A: I am not able to give you legal advise on gay massage but I would suggest that you check out your ... | |
Gay Life
Answers by Expert:
Jim Swanson
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
I have often helped gays in their challenge to understand what it means to come out and how best to start down that road. I have and also helped gays to reconcile the often difficult struggle of being gay and being a Christian. I now understand one of God's truths more clearly: Our pain is not wasted when we can reach around and comfort another coming along behind us on the same path.
Experience
I too had to deal with these issues when I finally accepted who I was and started down my own path to come out. It is difficult to imagine now how much I have changed and how much I have learned as I traveled this most curious journey. For many years, I have hosted a website to address this issue and to help others.
Publications
http://home.roadrunner.com/~jimswanson/
Education/Credentials
Graduate form University of Hartford
Awards and Honors
Pride Award
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