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About Robert Lee
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I was lucky to have a grandmother that was wise beyond her years and she passed information on to me. She gave me the most important piece of information anyone could possess in order to understand people. She taught me that everybody is the same.
People all share similiar dislikes and likes, they thrive on the same things, they are discouraged by the same things. She taught me to not see color in the way I conducted my life.

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I have experience in newspaper and radio journalism. Lifelong observer of the human element. I have been in management most of my life. Military background. I have met many people from different cultures. I have traveled across the US several times and have had the oppotunity to see many facets of people. And I have made my own mistakes and learned from them.



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You are here:  Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > General Dating Questions > She's the only girl I want but she's just got engaged.

General Dating Questions - She's the only girl I want but she's just got engaged.


Expert: Robert Lee - 3/16/2008

Question
Hey Robert.
Sorry if this is a bit long. I've known this girl for around three or four years now and I've liked her since the day I met her. She does know I liked her and still do. The problem is, she has a boyfriend. She met him around two months before meeting me. She revealed to me, and him, that she did have feelings for me when we met. She was having problems with her boyfriend at the time which obviously affected this. Their relationship has had a lot of problems and it does sound like he likes to get his own way most of the time. She has just told me in a text that she's engaged and they're planning to get married in a couple of years. I still have strong feelings for her. She makes me so much happier than I ever have been. When I get to meet her and just talk to her I feel like all I want is to spend the whole day with her. She's more attractive to me than anyone else. I know it's wrong to think I stand a chance and I hope I'm not right in thinking it could get worse for her once she's married. All I want is to see her happy but I can't help thinking I should've taken a chance and told her how I feel. I don't think I'm jealous because I fell for her before even knowing she had a boyfriend. I want to tell her but I don't want to lose her. I don't want to break them up either. It'll go one way or the other.
What would your opinion be of this? Is it worth telling her?
Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Answer
It is bad manners but not wrong, besides she is not married yet and simply telling her that there is another that loves her out there, I think it would be a sin to not let her know she has more choices. You should have told her in the first place, so don't make the same mistake twice, tell her the first chance you get. Tell her nicely, that you are not trying to ruin her her relationship but you feel you have to tell her before she gets married etc, etc,etc. If nothing comes of it just wait you will probably have another chance from what you describe their marriage will never last or maybe never happen just don't do anything to sabotage things and you will have peace of mind if they break up knowing you had nothing to do with it, ,,,, ,,,,,,,Robert lee

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