General Dating Questions/boyfriend broke up with me pregnant
Follow-Ups to Answer from Expert Behavior, Conflict and Relationships
sammy wrote at 2010-02-25 07:45:10
I've read your response over and over again,and every word rings so true to me. i think you are full of wisdom and feel so lucky to run across this post. i am even tempted to print it out and keep it with me when i need to be reminded. my situation has the same ending as the story above only i broke off the relationship with a guy i thought i knew for ten years. we were friends first then dated seriously for two and a half. Broke up and i realized i couldn't live without him a little over a year after the breakup. Hoping he would still feel the same, only this time it was like dating someone that was totally unavailable emotionally. I understood the reaction to an extent because he was hurt our relationship ended the first time, and i halfway understood his attitude now and felt it was a little deserved.Fast forward a year no change still emotionally unavailable, and not willing to commit to boyfriend/girlfriend status. Getting pregnant was an accident i was even on birth control! In hopes i thought surly his attitude and perception would change once he found out about the pregnancy, but to no avail. Still i was in limbo, he would say things sometimes like " i want you to know i'm thinking about things" which just gave me temporary peace of mind. I think being in emotional term oil and the thoughts/questions of am i good enough, attractive, or is this person seeing or looking for someone else that they think is better? is total hell! But i guess you do and except crazy things when you love someone. i think the right thing for me was to think about the child and do what best for the child, and to do that i needed to be healthy emotionally.He didn't seem upset about the breakup i even got the feeling he was relieved in a way. now he's friendly and tells me how he says nice things about me to his co-workers and friends. I find it a little strange he feels the need to tell me that. But i guess this entire situation is a little strange and maybe that's a guys way to save face in front of there friends and co workers??
Thanks again the truth your words were an inspiration to me!
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Examining human behavior, conflict, the psychology behind people's actions and the dynamics of relationships. Behavior is often about unspoken feelings, underlying motives and patterns. Learning to recognize what you're seeing in others and how to interpret the meaning will tell you what people are really thinking and why they're acting as they are. Understanding others is also about what is said and what isn't, what words are used and which ones aren't. The devil, it is said, is in the details. Subtleties matter. If you are educated, focused, experienced and perceptive, you are far more empowered to successfully and safely navigate human interactions and you can predict with far greater certainty what is coming next. You will be able to take in information and think on the move with numerous stimuli without even realizing you're doing it. Please share what state or country you live in. Please also do me a little favor with a big-time impact -- type your message in more than one paragraph. It will make it easier to respond to you more quickly.
Research and interviews. Answering questions around the world. Discussing behavior in work, family, friendships and romantic relationships.
Publications Newspaper and radio reporter, talk show host, freelance magazine writer on psychology, behavior and dating as well as an online feature writer on psychology and our daily lives; talk show guest in Atlanta, Georgia, San Francisco, California and Canada.
Education/Credentials B.A. in communications/public relations. Additional coursework and three radio internships in speech /broadcasting. Study in conflict and emotional intelligence. Fieldwork and library of relationships, psychology literature and conflict resolution. Have worked with over 1,000 people, in 25 countries, at AllExperts as well as working with people through personal email, on the phone and face-to-face.
Past/Present Clients College and high school students, military, divorced people, office workers (romance on the job), substance abuse in relationships, emotional abuse in relationships, more.