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About Azure
Expertise
expertise: over 6000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon request...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
Experience
Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.
BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.
Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and loving.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > General Dating Questions > Dating
Expert: Azure
Date: 5/15/2008
Subject: Dating
Question
My boyfriend of three and half years recently broke up with me. I am 6mnths pregnant with his first born, and I already have a 6year old. We lived together for 3yrs, and I really love him. I never seen the break up coming, it was like I woke up one morning and it was over. I have cried and begged to him to take me back. He says he just wants to be single. We have talked about marriage before, and both agreed we would get married when we were more financially stable. Neither of us wanted a baby, but we figured we were going to be together forever so when I got pregnant we fought about abortion, but then decided to keep it. I am so depressed now, the doctor put me on ZOLOFT, for depression, ive lost 5lbs, and can hardly sleep. He has already moved on, overnight. I says I am causing my own hurt because I won't leave him alone. He is seeing his ex again, and another female. I just feel like we had the ideal relationship, my family loved him and respected him so much, but now everyone dislikes him and has no respect for him. I wanted us to be a family, my daughter loves him like a father, and I thought he loved her too. What should I do, I still love him and can't see myself with someone else.
Answer
it's over--the only thing left to do is stay in the present, live your life..unfortunately, no guarantees in affairs of the heart; in time, this pain too shall pass...stop trying to get him back--it only depletes your self-esteem...hopefully he'll cooperate in paying child support, otherwise, you'll need a good attorney..
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