AboutDr. Dennis W. Neder Expertise I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between.
IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them!
Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: http://beingaman.com. You can email me directly at: dwneder@beingaman.com
Experience I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women". I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 20,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.
Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder Date: 6/30/2008 Subject: DOCTOR I NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER!
Question QUESTION: So we are both 20 and I have been hanging out with this girl for 5ish dates spaced out over a monthish of time. We work together and she is really attracted to me. We have done everything but sex because she had her period the last time. Since the last time i saw her, it seems like she texts me less. I NEVER text her and she clearly was/is chasing me. It seems liek she just started playing hard to get. So for saturday night (my birthday) I said i get out of work at 11 and she should clear her plans. She had plans with a mutual friend and was to hang out with her, but said she didnt know if she could hang out yet (leaving the option open meaning she wants to hold to her plans but wants to see me too.) So i said she had to tell me now, and she didnt. So friday came along and her friend said that the two of them were gonna wish me a happy birthday together on saturday. I heard nothing from either of them, ON MY BIRTHDAY! Things were going great, i was hard to get, she loved my cockiness and physically it was getting intense. BUT SHE DIDNT CALL OR FACEBOOK OR TEXT ME ON MY BIRTHDAY WHEN SHE KNEW! She was on the chase, but it seems like she has a scheme or heard something about me! What gives here? AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HOW DO I PUNISH HER FOR NOT TELLING ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DO I CONFRONT HER OR PLAY IT OFF AS I DONT CARE? I must insist that i didnt ruin the challenge that i had set up by making myself too available, because i make plans with her not often and make sure she knows my time is valuable.
ANSWER: Hello Chris!
If you want to punish her - go date someone else RIGHT NOW. If playing these stupid games cost her nothing, she'll just continue playing them.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826 http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Ok so another problem, same girl. Basicly, she heard a rumor around work that seems true that i said that we had almost had sex, so she suggested that the next time we hang out it be as friends becasue shes afraid ill harm her reputation. I said there are alot of shittalkers but if she wants to lose out, listen to what they say. I then said I was mean (jokingly) but im not a fucking liar. I said I'm above that bullshit and lets hang out when i said. She started laughing and i was like so who have YOU been telling, because i know you talk alot about me too. I then to end it off said "you owe me now for believing shittalkers at first and not strong chris. you'll see me tomorrow if your lucky kiddo." She laughed and thats how it ended. She wasnt laughing at first so i made progress. I am not totally in the shitter now if she doesnt totally trust me am I? I told her it was bullshit, if she wants to believe them then do so but im above that bullshit and she'll lose out, I also told her that i have enough friends and i knew she didnt wanna be friends with me (confidently). Basicly, what should I do next? If i hang out with her tomorrow we will have sex, because earlier in the day she had said she likes me to a friend of mine and was describing me to another person (he overheard). I think she just thinks that im gonna tell everyone like a prize! In person she is very flirtatious and told my best friend "i thought he liked me, but hes acting so mean"
Answer Hello again Chris!
Nothing has changed at all. Ignore the "friends" thing and just treat her like a girlfriend. Go out with her (don't "hang out" - make this a date or it'll turn into a friendship before you know what's happening!) and touch her, kiss her, etc. Then, convert to sex.
Women throw all sorts of LMR ("Last Minute Resistance") all the time. Obviously a real "no" is a no, but anything less than that is a "yes". This stuff about her reputation is just a way to misdirect the issue.
If she were really worried about her reputation, it would be as a cock-tease rather than someone that is trying to build a real, healthy relationship with someone else.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826 http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"
