AboutDr. Dennis W. Neder Expertise I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between.
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Experience I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women". I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 20,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.
Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder Date: 6/22/2008 Subject: How do i deal with a crazy ex boyfriend?
Question I am dating a girl who has a child with another guy. We are both 20. They broke up anywhere from 4-6 months ago and she is fine dating me. All she has said is "if my crazy ex boyfriend knew i was here tho, he'd want to fight you." Now I'll be honest with you. I kindve want to date this girl, and i havent seen/talked to/interacted with this guy as of yet, we have been on 4 dates. He seems to want to kill any guy she is with, yet she left him and doesnt want him back, yet she sees him because of the kid and acknowledges that he is crazy/an asshole sometimes. How do i not look like a wuss if he challenges me to a fight and I dont want to fight? Should i basicly tell her that i want nothing to do with him if im with her? How do i deal with things without looking like a wuss if he basicly forces himself into my life because im dating her? I dont want to fight someone over a girl, its just not worth it!
Answer Hello John!
I agree that you don't want this to come to blows. It's obvious that this guy is pretty insecure, but here's the reality: two people have to agree to any fight. If even one of them declines for any reason, there's no fight! You don't even have to back down to do this!
By the way, let me say this: you haven't met this boyfriend and you're not even sure if he REALLY feels this way - it's only something that your girlfriend has told you. I suspect this is more her creation to see if you're really motivated to date her; and to boost her own ego than anything else. Think about this for a minute: what guy that lost a girl is really going to try to throw down with some other guy that he doesn't even know? He can't keep her from dating other guys, that's exactly why she broke up with him in the first place - to date other guys! Frankly, I don't believe this is real for one minute!
Now, let's say that it is real however. If you ever run into the guy and he's ready to rumble, just say "no thanks" and walk away. Serious - it's that simple! If he tries to chase you down, he's going to look like an idiot.
John, don't make this something it's not.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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