AboutDr. Dennis W. Neder Expertise I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between.
IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them!
Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: http://beingaman.com. You can email me directly at: dwneder@beingaman.com
Experience I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women". I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 20,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.
I notice that really really HOT STUDLY men...don't necessarily date hot women.
In fact, many times, they pick the ugliest girls they can find. And I mean HIDEOUSLY ugly.
Course, this doesn't last too long...as they end up cheating on the ugly girls with other women. lol.
Why does this occur, you think?
i mean, why aren't the hot guys hooking it up with the hot girls?
Answer Hello Dawn!
First off, women and men have VERY different tastes in women. Women look at other women and say "Oh, she has beautiful skin..." or "She dresses really well..." and "...she's really pretty." Men aren't anywhere near as motivated by these individual features as others. Thus, women usually have very different ideas of what's beautiful in women than men have. That certainly explains at least some of the issue.
On the other hand is an issue of sexuality. Let me give you two extremes to illustrate the this. Imagine the guy that is all muscled out, wears skin-hugging clothing, drives bright red cars, etc. This is a type of system where the guy expresses himself through his outward appearance. To some people, it's garish and crude. To others it's very attractive.
Now consider the woman that dresses like a librarian. She has her hair pulled back into a bun, wears very little make-up, wears clothes that hide her natural figure, etc. In fact, she's the exact opposite of the guy I just described, right? She and he are actually perfect matches - believe it or not!
There are also examples of women that dress like the guy and guys that dress like the girl and they too are perfect matches.
It's not about the dress however, it's about how they present themselves to the outside world. This is a case where opposites really do attract!
What you see as beauty likely mirrors the way you dress and make yourself up. Unfortunately, these guys you claim are "hot" are actually terrible matches for you! You'd both be fighting over the mirror!
Here's another common phenomenon: men that are bisexual or closeted gay are often considered by most women to be "hot". That's again because they focus on their looks (this ties in with the model, but I won't get into it here.) But they often date the most unattractive, manish-looking women you could imagine. When you consider that they are actually attracted to men in the first place, this makes sense, doesn't it?
This is a very simplistic explanation of a very complicated situation, but it gives you an idea of why this happens.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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