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About Murphy Smith
Expertise
I can answer any general relationship / dating questions.

Experience
I used to work as a counselor in a hospital part time for 15 years (16-32 hours a week) and my job was listening to patients who had relationship problems and giving them advice to help them cope with depression, suicidal behavior and thoughts, loss of a relationship or marriage, sexual issues and diseases, unwanted pregnancy, infidelity, abusive relationships, interracial relationships, prostitution, rape, drug addiction, alcohol addiction and abuse etc. I am very inquisitive and ask alot questions on various subjects, which has made me quite knowledgeable in general. I also have read many books on relationships and dating and if I do not know the answer to a question I will research it until I find the correct answer opposed to just pretending that I know about something that I do not. I have also had alot of friends, co-workers and even strangers tell me their problems and expect a sincere and candid answer because I am told that I appear to be a person that can be trusted and I am.

Education/Credentials
High school with some college. I have worked for the government for 10 yrs and as part of my job duties I am expected and required to counsel and advice hundreds of employees.

Past/Present Clients
I have counseled and advised hundreds of people in the past 25 years on numerous subjects.

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > General Dating Questions > Asking out a girl

General Dating Questions - Asking out a girl

Expert: Murphy Smith - 10/25/2009

Question
Hi

I really like this girl who works in a nearby supermarket. I think she's really pretty.

What would be the best thing to say to ask her out.

I'm a very shy guy and im worried that when i go up ill freeze up or turn red from embarassment.

I really want her to say yes so i want to say the right thing.

Also if she says no can you tell me what i should say.

Usually i wouldnt even do this but my gran died recently which hurt me alot and i figured a woman saying no wouldnt be near as painful as losing gran but mostly i learned life is fragile and we should take our chances to make our own luck.

Thanks
Mark

Answer
Mark:

Simply go up to her and tell her that you think that she is very pretty and that you would like to know if you can take her out because you would like to get to know her. You can even tell her that you are normally shy but you really wanted to try and get to know her because she seemed so nice or pretty etc. Just be yourself.

If she says that she is not interested for whatever reason (She could already be in a relationship etc.) just accept that and realize that everyone is not going to want to get to know you or to go out with you because of various reasons but don't take any of them personally unless you were rude,not a gentleman or dirty and not presentable as far as your grooming is concerned. If that is the case than you need to work on you and those things and again even then all women are not going to want to get to know you or go out with you but it is nothing to get mad or upset with the woman about or be down and think negatively of yourself.

In general whenever you see a woman that you would like to get to know just be yourself and ask her out if that is what you want to do. Do not use any pick up lines etc. because most women do not like them and know that it is just a line. Being yourself is always best.

Murphy

P.S. When you ask her out do not do so in front of other people so that they can hear what you are asking her. Also I am sorry to hear that your Gran recently died but you do not need something painful to happen to you to be able to tell a woman that you would like to get to know her, all you need is to do it, be a gentleman and be yourself. Good luck.

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