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About Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Expertise
I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: http://beingaman.com. You can email me directly at: dwneder@beingaman.com

Experience
I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women". I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 25,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Education/Credentials
Doctor of Philosophy

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > General Dating Questions > Awkwardness after making a move on a friend

General Dating Questions - Awkwardness after making a move on a friend

Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/27/2009

Question
There's this girl I am interested in that I've hung out with for a few weeks. A couple days ago we spent the day at a park and had a really great time, then we went back to my house. I told her once before that I like her, and based on her body language (things such as backing into me when we're cuddling and wrapping her fingers around my arm) I can tell she likes me as well. That day I finally made a move and gave her a kiss, which led to making out, which led to both of us with our shirts off. We didn't have sex because she told me she was on her period (I know she was lying and just did not want to go that far), but she seemed very into everything else. She never pulled away when we were making out, and she was even the one who pulled my shirt off and was feeling my chest. The next few days though is where the problem lies though. She was still initiating normal conversation and such, but was keeping herself distant when I would try to ask about that night. I asked her if she liked it and she said she didn't know, even though at the time I definitely got the feeling she was as into it as I was. I haven't seen her in person since that night, but we're seeing each other tomorrow. I initiated most of what went on, do you think I went too fast? I think I did. I care about this girl on a deeper level than physicality and lust, but I'm afraid she may have interpreted my moves as just wanting her body, or is she just confused as to what happened? Any advice on what she may be thinking or what I should do would be appreciated.

Answer
Hello Sam!

No, I don't think it went too fast but she's worried that you do.

This is why she's acting distant now. She thinks (wrongly) that you might think she's either too easy or desperate.

The easy way to handle this is to tell her, "Hey, we need to get together this weekend and go do something fun." Then, be clear about when, what and where and have a great time.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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