Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/29/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hi I'm 17yrs and just went out on my first date and well I am so confused. I took the girl, I've been crushing on for almost 1 year, to "Where the Wild Things Are". We met at the theater said hi went and got the tickets and then went to sit down. We were 25min early and just sat there tell the movie started. After the movie I asked what she thought of it she said it was really good. then she asked if I needed to wait for my ride and I said no so we said good night and parted ways. Now I'm faced with the problem of what to do for a second date. I want it to be something were we will be able to talk to each other because I really no little about her. To sum it all up what can two shy 17-year-olds do that encourages talking. We both have a wide range of interests

ANSWER: Hello Kyle!

This is why I tell people to avoid movies, concerts, comedy clubs, etc., on first, second and even third dates. You need to get "face time" in order to establish a connection with someone. When you watch a movie you might connect with the characters on the screen, but not the person you're with.

On the other hand, there are a ton of fun things to do that will get you two talking. One example is a museum. If you talk about what you're seeing - why you like it or don't, what it means, etc., you have an instant topic of conversation.

Likewise, a simple picnic or taking a walk are great chances to talk about things and get to know someone. Remember: you don't want to or have to put together some huge event for a date. Keep it simple. Check your local paper for things going on in your local area. You'd be surprised at how many fun things happen around town every weekend.

The point however is to get to know her - and for her to get to know you. Check my website (http://BeingAMan.com), under "self help" and read my FAQ's. You'll find some articles that will tell you exactly how to build fun, interesting conversations.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: So I know she likes picnics but is a picnic really a good way to start a relationship? meaning is it going to be weird that I'm asking her to go on a picnic

Answer
Hello again Kyle!

Weird? Why? Frankly, it's a lot of fun! You might bring a frisbee or a board game with you to play, you can listen to music and talk about your favorite bands or artists, or a ton of other fun things to do.

Don't think you have to pull out all the stops to try to impress any girl. Girls see right through it when you try too hard and begin wondering if you're really worthy of their time.

Keep it simple.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"