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About Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Expertise
I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: http://beingaman.com. You can email me directly at: dwneder@beingaman.com

Experience
I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women". I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 25,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Education/Credentials
Doctor of Philosophy

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > General Dating Questions > Shy

General Dating Questions - Shy

Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/28/2009

Question
Hi I'm 17yrs and just went out on my first date and well I am so confused. I took the girl, I've been crushing on for almost 1 year, to "Where the Wild Things Are". We met at the theater said hi went and got the tickets and then went to sit down. We were 25min early and just sat there tell the movie started. After the movie I asked what she thought of it she said it was really good. then she asked if I needed to wait for my ride and I said no so we said good night and parted ways. Now I'm faced with the problem of what to do for a second date. I want it to be something were we will be able to talk to each other because I really no little about her. To sum it all up what can two shy 17-year-olds do that encourages talking. We both have a wide range of interests

Answer
Hello Kyle!

This is why I tell people to avoid movies, concerts, comedy clubs, etc., on first, second and even third dates. You need to get "face time" in order to establish a connection with someone. When you watch a movie you might connect with the characters on the screen, but not the person you're with.

On the other hand, there are a ton of fun things to do that will get you two talking. One example is a museum. If you talk about what you're seeing - why you like it or don't, what it means, etc., you have an instant topic of conversation.

Likewise, a simple picnic or taking a walk are great chances to talk about things and get to know someone. Remember: you don't want to or have to put together some huge event for a date. Keep it simple. Check your local paper for things going on in your local area. You'd be surprised at how many fun things happen around town every weekend.

The point however is to get to know her - and for her to get to know you. Check my website (http://BeingAMan.com), under "self help" and read my FAQ's. You'll find some articles that will tell you exactly how to build fun, interesting conversations.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
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Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
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