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About Michael Talks Behavior, Culture and Relationships
Expertise
A combination of the study of human behavior, the psychology behind those actions, interviews and significant personal experience. That intensive study has provided a deep understanding of interactions, an excellent education. Behavior, for both genders, is often about unspoken feelings, underlying motives and patterns. Learning to recognize what you're seeing in others and how to interpret the meaning will tell you what people are really thinking and why they're acting as they are. Understanding others is also about what is said and what isn't, what words are used and which ones aren't. The devil, it is said, is in the details. Subtleties matter. They often determine whether you connect as you desire, have disharmony or nothing at all with someone. If you are knowledgeable, naturally focused, experienced and perceptive, you can almost predict with certainty what is coming next.

Experience
Reporter who has done hundreds of interviews, researched material, approached strangers and dozens of acquaintances with dating, relationship and behavior questions as well as learned from numerous dating experiences. A highly attentive listener with strong skills of perception and a student of gender differences and nuances and human behavior. Answering questions around the world.

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Newspaper and radio reporter, talk show host, freelance magazine writer on dating and online feature writer. Talk show guest in Atlanta, Georgia and San Francisco, California. Please share what country you live in and if you are comfortable doing so, list the city. Thank you.

Education/Credentials
B.A. in communications/public relations. Additional coursework and three internships in speech communications/broadcasting. Fieldwork and library of relationship & psychology literature. Have worked with over 700 people at Michael Talks Behavior, Culture and Relationships (U.S.) and over 30 more at the same name (U.K.), personal email and face-to-face.

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College students, military, divorced, people with romance in the workplace, substance abuse in relationships, emotional abuse in relationships, more.

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > General Dating Questions > creating intimacy

General Dating Questions - creating intimacy

Expert: Michael Talks Behavior, Culture and Relationships - 10/25/2009

Question
Hey dear Michael,how`re you?It`s Siavash.After that bitter experience with the poetry gal,thanks to your help I moved on and so far I`ve had 2 successful dates with this new girl,both dates have gone well.
As you had recommended that I`d better share common interesting activities and show her that I care about what she likes (to make her feel special),I bought her favorite book ( she loves the book) and have suggested to go to one art gallery together.
I`m going to have another date with this gal this week,your advice regarding how to create more intimacy and build a healthy relationship would be much appreciated!Thanks for your help!
Best wishes

Answer
Dear Siavash,

Greetings.

It was nice to hear of your building connection with the new person you're dating. Your approach with her has been thoughtful, interesting and obviously, helping build attraction.

You inquired about how to create more intimacy. The secret here is to continue building on what you have done so far -- interesting, fun dates with no expectations. Let her get comfortable knowing you, be warm, make her laugh if you're naturally funny, and in a gentle, non-sexual way, show her you are attracted to her (looking softly into her eyes, smiling, gently touching her arm when you talk, walking hand in hand (if she's receptive), and be on the look out for her interest in kissing. No matter how attracted you might be to her restrain that passion beyond what I wrote of here. Taking your time is very sexy to most women. Showing them you're not desperate, that you're confident enough in yourself that you can wait and not jump all over her shows her you're different (a good thing).

You can also build attraction with a romantic date with some creative twists and turns. If she's pleased, you'll see it in her face and maybe body language. That said, don't desire more than affection (touch, kissing). Do this and she'll be amazed that you planned such a special date without motive of sex. If she really likes you already, that will build the attraction and turn up the passion for you in her mind and heart.

Wish you the best,

Michael
soon to be Michael's Quick Help

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