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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon request...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks

Experience
Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and loving.

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General Dating Questions - fiance needs space

Expert: Azure - 10/27/2009

Question
My fiance (of 4 years) and I have been together almost 8 years and just moved in together one year ago. I sold my house, my furniture and quit my job and started planning our wedding. He has now gotten cold feet and seems to be going through mid-life crisis turning 50 next month and he says... he needs space, not sure if he ever wants to be married, maybe he should have dated more before meeting me, etc. The problem is that I have no where to move & have been looking for a job which is tough in this economy. I also have been trying to go out more, giving him more space. He seems to be confused, says I can stay here in the house... I he will 'try' ... but he is emotionally distant. I do not know what to do... live with him as 'roommates' or see if he will pay for a place for me to live until I get a job, etc....
please help
thanks
S

Answer
at this point, the relationship is over-- you don't want to be asking him for financial help; you've little choice (unless you have a friend/family member you can stay with) except to do the roommate thing while making a major effort to find employment and a place to live..

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