Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/27/2009

Question
Hi,

I'm 29 years old. I have moved back in with my parents for the next 6 months. I've finished my 2nd year of medical school and have huge loans from med school and grad school and college, so I'll be living with mom and dad for a while, until residency at least.

Right now I'm studying for my board exam (will take a few months or so to study) so I don't get to go out much. This is a high stress time and it's almost impossible to meet men now. When I do either I meet men that are taken, or are much younger than me.

Living at home with parents is also not very much fun, obviously a guy can't spend the night with me, plus where I live isn't where I went to school/work so I have no friends in the area at all, and I can't exactly go to his place and spend the night and lie and say I'm a friends house.

So I'd like to meet guys but this is hard. With studying it's really rough.

I do get quite an amount of really hot guys interested in me...only for me to find out they're 18 or 19 years old (I look younger than my age)

You have any ideas for me? How to meet guys?

Friday nights and Saturday nights my parents expect me to be at home, I am the only child, we don't have any relatives here, they are old and have health problems and so I have to help them around the house. So that's out.

thanks for the advice
ana

Answer
Hello Ana!

Huh??? They expect you to be home on Friday and Saturday nights? Why - is that when they get their sponge-baths???  ;)

Ana, so much of this makes absolutely no sense! You tell me on the one hand that you can't meet guys then you tell me you want to, but you can't change anything. Really, how is that ever going to work? You're going to need to change something here if you want different results than what you're getting right now.

Men aren't just going to show up at your door, you need to get out to meet them. Friday and Saturday nights aren't the only time to meet guys. In fact, great guys are all over the damn place - expect in your living room. You can meet them anywhere, anytime - it doesn't just have to be on Friday or Saturday nights. Frankly, these may be the two worst days there are to meet someone!

As a woman, you have some incredible tools that even us guys don't have. I have an entire e-book that teaches women how to find and approach men and I strongly encourage you to read it. You'll certainly discover some great new ideas that you can begin using right away, but the very first thing you need to change is your belief that you "can't meet guys".

It all comes down to some very basic things:

1) Being or finding where great guys are.
2) Learning how to flirt and attract guys
3) Learning to read the signals guys throw - not simply assuming they should know yours because most of the simply don't!
4) Learning how to approach these guys at any stage until they pick up the game and run with it.

None of these are really that tough to do or learn, but you have to get started somewhere. Probably the best place is to decide what you want and to make time to go get it.

We all have the same 168 hours a week. It's not the amount of time you have, it's how you use it that's important. All you need is an hour here or there each week to get out among others. If you organize your time carefully, do you think you can find those little bits of time? Of course you can.

Start thinking "possibilities" not "limitations"!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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