	AllExperts > General Dating Questions
	Search

About Murphy Smith
Expertise
I can answer any general relationship / dating questions.

Experience
I used to work as a counselor in a hospital part time for 15 years (16-32 hours a week) and my job was listening to patients who had relationship problems and giving them advice to help them cope with depression, suicidal behavior and thoughts, loss of a relationship or marriage, sexual issues and diseases, unwanted pregnancy, infidelity, abusive relationships, interracial relationships, prostitution, rape, drug addiction, alcohol addiction and abuse etc. I am very inquisitive and ask alot questions on various subjects, which has made me quite knowledgeable in general. I also have read many books on relationships and dating and if I do not know the answer to a question I will research it until I find the correct answer opposed to just pretending that I know about something that I do not. I have also had alot of friends, co-workers and even strangers tell me their problems and expect a sincere and candid answer because I am told that I appear to be a person that can be trusted and I am.

Education/Credentials
High school with some college. I have worked for the government for 10 yrs and as part of my job duties I am expected and required to counsel and advice hundreds of employees.

Past/Present Clients
I have counseled and advised hundreds of people in the past 25 years on numerous subjects.

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > General Dating Questions > unsure of how to not run

General Dating Questions - unsure of how to not run

Expert: Murphy Smith - 10/22/2009

Question
hey there
my name is amber and i am 19 yrs old. i am dating and engaged to the most amazing guy in the world. his name is dave and he is 33. in the past few weeks him and i have taken on some big responsibilities. i am looking after my 15 yr old cousin. she is living with us right now. we are looking at becoming foster parents so she will have a permanent place to live. now i have a problem where when things in a relationship get serious i tend to want to run away and not look back. i am starting to feel this way now but i dont want to leave. i love this man so much and i dont want to loose him. i feel trapped and im not sure if its because i am lookin at getting married, or if its because i have taken on the role of a parent and no nothing about it. i feel scared and i dont know what to do. do you have any advice for me?

Answer
Amber:

At 33 yrs old this man is too old for you and although you may think it is love that is not what it is. Also at your age you should not be taking on the role of a parent to your 15 year old cousin. I do not know what your situation or if you have been living with this man or for how long but again you are in far over your head and need to be the 19 yr old that you are and that is not a wife, sexual companion or anything else for a man that is so much older than you nor should you be entering into any type of parenting responsibilty whether you are with him or not because again you are too young. Later in life you will realize that what I am telling you is true I only hope that you listen to me now and slow down and do not take on these responsibilities at this time in your life. I hope that I was not too harsh but you asked me my opinion and I am concerned for you, which is why I said what I did. You are scared because you should be, anyone in your situation would be because it is too much to deal with at 19 yrs old unless you have to and you do not have to so don't.

Murphy

Add to this Answer Ask a Question