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hey there
my name is amber and i am 19 yrs old. i am dating and engaged to the most amazing guy in the world. his name is dave and he is 33. in the past few weeks him and i have taken on some big responsibilities. i am looking after my 15 yr old cousin. she is living with us right now. we are looking at becoming foster parents so she will have a permanent place to live. now i have a problem where when things in a relationship get serious i tend to want to run away and not look back. i am starting to feel this way now but i dont want to leave. i love this man so much and i dont want to loose him. i feel trapped and im not sure if its because i am lookin at getting married, or if its because i have taken on the role of a parent and no nothing about it. i feel scared and i dont know what to do. do you have any advice for me?
Amber:
At 33 yrs old this man is too old for you and although you may think it is love that is not what it is. Also at your age you should not be taking on the role of a parent to your 15 year old cousin. I do not know what your situation or if you have been living with this man or for how long but again you are in far over your head and need to be the 19 yr old that you are and that is not a wife, sexual companion or anything else for a man that is so much older than you nor should you be entering into any type of parenting responsibilty whether you are with him or not because again you are too young. Later in life you will realize that what I am telling you is true I only hope that you listen to me now and slow down and do not take on these responsibilities at this time in your life. I hope that I was not too harsh but you asked me my opinion and I am concerned for you, which is why I said what I did. You are scared because you should be, anyone in your situation would be because it is too much to deal with at 19 yrs old unless you have to and you do not have to so don't.
Murphy
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Answers by Expert:
Murphy Smith
Expertise
I can answer any general relationship / dating questions.
Experience
I worked as a certified nursing assistant in a psychiatic facility / hospital part time and full time for many years and my job was listening to patients who had relationship and other problems and giving them advice to help them cope with depression, suicidal behavior and thoughts, loss of a relationship or marriage, sexual issues and diseases, unwanted pregnancy, infidelity, abusive relationships, interracial relationships, prostitution, rape, incest, drug addiction, alcohol addiction and abuse etc. and in Nursing Homes taking care of elderly patients. I am very inquisitive and have always asked alot questions on various subjects, which has made me quite knowledgeable in general. I also have read many books on relationships and dating etc. and if I do not know the answer to a question to a question I will research it until I find the correct answer or send them to someone who does but I will not pretend I know about something that I do not. Also my entire life since I was very young many of my friends, co-workers and even strangers have told me their problems and expected a sincere and candid answer I have always heard that I appear to be a good person who can be trusted and I am.
Organizations
National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund
Education/Credentials
High school with some college. I have worked in government for many years in personnel, personnel management, as a certified correctional officer and training instructor for male and female law enforcement officers where my job duties required me to instruct, counsel and advice hundreds of employees on policies and procedures and how to carry themselves. I was a certified nursing assistant for many years and helped hundreds of patients with daily grooming and mental and physical difficulties etc. I worked on a pediatrics intensive care unit for many years as a ward clerk and besides my normal duties I helped take care of very sick children (prenatal thru teenagers)feeding, taking care of and reading to them, changing diapers, helping bath, medications, injections etc.
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