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About Michael Talks Behavior, Culture and Relationships
Expertise
A combination of the study of human behavior, the psychology behind those actions, interviews and significant personal experience. That intensive study has provided a deep understanding of interactions, an excellent education. Behavior, for both genders, is often about unspoken feelings, underlying motives and patterns. Learning to recognize what you're seeing in others and how to interpret the meaning will tell you what people are really thinking and why they're acting as they are. Understanding others is also about what is said and what isn't, what words are used and which ones aren't. The devil, it is said, is in the details. Subtleties matter. They often determine whether you connect as you desire, have disharmony or nothing at all with someone. If you are knowledgeable, naturally focused, experienced and perceptive, you can almost predict with certainty what is coming next.

Experience
Reporter who has done hundreds of interviews, researched material, approached strangers and dozens of acquaintances with dating, relationship and behavior questions as well as learned from numerous dating experiences. A highly attentive listener with strong skills of perception and a student of gender differences and nuances and human behavior. Answering questions around the world.

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Newspaper and radio reporter, talk show host, freelance magazine writer on dating and online feature writer. Talk show guest in Atlanta, Georgia and San Francisco, California. Please share what country you live in and if you are comfortable doing so, list the city. Thank you.

Education/Credentials
B.A. in communications/public relations. Additional coursework and three internships in speech communications/broadcasting. Fieldwork and library of relationship & psychology literature. Have worked with over 700 people at Michael Talks Behavior, Culture and Relationships (U.S.) and over 30 more at the same name (U.K.), personal email and face-to-face.

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College students, military, divorced, people with romance in the workplace, substance abuse in relationships, emotional abuse in relationships, more.

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General Dating Questions - Boys, Boys, Boys

Expert: Michael Talks Behavior, Culture and Relationships - 11/3/2009

Question
I met this guys through a friend. Hes 23 I'm 19, we're both in college. We hit it off instantly. Talking and seeing each other almost everyday. About a week are two into our "friendship" I decided to ask him if he had a girlfriend. He said he did but she is back in his hometown. First red flag. After that nothing really changed between us, we still hung out all the time, always laughing. I try to get him to talk about his girlfriend of 2 yrs, but he doesn't really say much. He mentioned that lately their relationship has been some what rocky.
I'm very confused as to what role he wants me to play. I will not be in relationship w/a man who has a gf. I will not be the other women. His action show that he likes me for more than just a friend.I really like our "friendship" but I'm confused as to how I should approach this. Another point, his game is sooooooooo good. But I'm not sure if its because I've experienced a lot w/men that I'm assuming its game or its really genuine. That's how good he is. lol.
I want a boyfriend. He has a girlfriend. I'm scared he is just telling me that him and his gf aren't on good terms just to keep me around, in hopes that I think we have a chance.

THIS IS ALL SO MIXED UP!!

Answer
Dear Missy,

Please read on below...

"I met this guy through a friend. Hes 23 I'm 19, we're both in college. We hit it off instantly. Talking and seeing each other almost everyday. About a week or two into our "friendship" I decided to ask him if he had a girlfriend. He said he did but she is back in his hometown. First red flag."

---Exactly! :)

"After that nothing really changed between us, we still hung out all the time, always laughing. I try to get him to talk about his girlfriend of 2 yrs, but he doesn't really say much. He mentioned that lately their relationship has been some what rocky. I'm very confused as to what role he wants me to play."

---Good question. Sounds like to me that he's not really connected to his girlfriend emotionally, is open to looking around for someone different or "better." The reality, however, is he's still inferring he's committed to her and she, I'm sure, feels he's committed to her or better be!

"I will not be in relationship w/a man who has a gf."

---Great character on your part and it will also save you misery.

"I will not be the other women. His action show that he likes me for more than just a friend.I really like our "friendship" but I'm confused as to how I should approach this."

---Keep him as a friend in your mind no matter the attraction. If one day he says he is single and asks you out, great, but until then just see him as any other guy with a girlfriend. Unavailable and not worth your romantic attention.

"Another point, his game is sooooooooo good."

---This made laugh a little. He has "your number," doesn't he Missy!

"But I'm not sure if its because I've experienced a lot w/men that I'm assuming its game or its really genuine. That's how good he is. lol."

---It could be game or it could be he's just gifted to be so personable and good with women.

"I want a boyfriend."

---Very normal.

"He has a girlfriend."

---He's unavailable. Keep telling yourself that Missy and keep the friendship, keep in the back of your mind that if he becomes single, you'd be interested and in the meantime look for other attractive, fun, interesting guys who are single, would be attracted to you and who, like you, desire a relationship. I can tell you have a whole lotta personality. I'm sure you have a menu of men to check out.

"I'm scared he is just telling me that him and his gf aren't on good terms just to keep me around, in hopes that I think we have a chance."

---While I can see a guy doing this, most don't take that approach. Really. He's conveying to you he's not happy with her, is open to other girls and would probably get involved with someone if they were cool with him having a rocky relationship long-distance. If he wants someone else he has to decide if he's willing to give up on his current relationship first or if he's cool being lonely or...the dreaded rogue cheater.

"THIS IS ALL SO MIXED UP!!"

---So very messed up. :)

Michael
soon to be Michael's Quick Help

P.S. Missy, if I may ask for marketing purposes for my business which should be ready to go around the holiday's, which college do you attend? I might be able to offer you a chance to make some money with very little time and effort in a month or two. I ask because I work with a lot of college students, undergrad and graduate.

My best....Michael

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