Expert: Nafeesah - 4/27/2009

Question
I'm 19, he's 26.
We've worked together for about 9 months and from the beginning there was
this connection. Sounds corny, I know, but that's the only way to describe it.
We talked when we could, but a lot of our interaction was non-verbal; like
just smiling at each other and looking at each other. We kinda just both felt
something.

Anyway, he's noticed things about me like when my hair was done different
and he always goes out of his way to help me out. He's super attentive. When
I tell him that I don't want to bug him when I do need his help he tells me
that he doesn't mind if it is ME who bothers him. The most significant thing
he's told me is that his day is better when I'm around and that I make him
happy.

It was all nice until I found out he had a girlfriend and has been with her for
the last 4 years. They also live together.

Now I don't know what the deal is. Does he even have any true feelings for
me or is he just playing me around? Is it normal for players to say things like  
he has or is he truly saying what he feels?

I know I would never do anything while they were together, but at the same
time I don't want to give up altogether and not stay in contact if what we have
is real.

I guess what I really want to know is if you think he's being genuine or just
playing me around?

Your help would be greatly appreciated! =]

Answer
Let me break this down to you while being real with you at the same time. Number one this guy is a dog because if he was a real man he would be straight with you. Number two he's cheating on someone he's been with for 4 years what makes you think he'll be truthful to you and he can't even be faithful to his girlfriend. Last, but not least the problem is with this guy, but your part is that are you willing to put up with him playing you like this? Any woman that has sense would have sent this guy packing because she's not going to waste her time with someone who's treating the person he's dating like crap and also playing with another person's feelings like they don't matter. You matter more to a man who can give you the time you deserve and who's an honest and genuine person.