AboutAzure Expertise expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon request...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
Experience Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.
BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.
Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and loving.
My girlfriend of 6 months dumped me just before Christmas. She said she
needed
space and wasn't sure she wanted a relationship etc. etc..
Then she started seeing another guy.
I completely left her alone. She emailed a few time and called a few times,
finally, 3
months ago she called and said she wanted to see me.
We met and she said "could we be friends?" I said no, you have to choose who
you
want to be with, me or someone else. She said she didn't want to be my
girlfriend. I
said fine, bye.
Now, two months later she emails me and says she has good feelings for me
and
really misses talking with me. And will I ever want to talk with her again? And
do I
hate her?
I emailed back and said no I don't hate her, but if all she misses about me is
talking, we won't have much to talk about. And I asked her what she wants to
talk
about?
Have not heard back yet.
I like this girl, but I am not exactly sure what to do next here.
I am still real sure I do not want to be just friends.
Can you give me a little direction here?
Thanks, Gregg
Answer i suggest softening your approach, remove the pressure you're putting on her, stop requiring a "girlfriend" label-it's in your best interest; start casually communicating, no heavy discussion, no talk about what the deal is, then try getting together, see how she responds; you may see that she's open to more than friends...if not, just scale back communication if you choose to at that time..
