AboutMichael Talks Behavior, Culture and Relationships Expertise A combination of the study of human behavior, the psychology behind those actions, interviews and 6 years of daily fieldwork. That intensive study mix has provided a deep understanding. Behavior, for both genders, is often about unspoken feelings, underlying motives and patterns. Learning to recognize what you're seeing in others and how to interpret the meaning will tell you what people are really thinking and why they're acting as they are. Understanding others is also about what is said and what isn't, what words are used and which ones aren't. The devil, it is said, is in the details. Subtleties matter. They often determine whether you connect as you desire, have disharmony or nothing at all with someone. If you are knowledgeable, naturally focused, experienced and perceptive, you can almost predict with certainty what is coming next. Please share what country you live in and if you are comfortable doing so, list the city. Also do me a small favor and type your questions in more than one paragraph so it's easier to read. Thank you. :)
Experience Reporter who has done hundreds of interviews, researched material, approached strangers and dozens of acquaintances with dating, relationship and behavior questions as well as learned from numerous dating experiences. A highly attentive listener with strong skills of perception and a student of gender differences and nuances and human behavior. Answering questions around the world.
Publications Newspaper and radio reporter, talk show host, freelance magazine writer on psychology, behavior and dating as well as an online feature writer on psychology and our daily lives; talk show guest in Atlanta, Georgia and San Francisco, California; interviewed by author and three-time Emmy Award winner, Dr. Carole Lieberman for her newest book.
Education/Credentials B.A. in communications/public relations. Additional coursework and three internships in speech communications/broadcasting. Fieldwork and library of relationship & psychology literature. Have worked with over 800 people at Michael Talks Behavior, Culture and Relationships (U.S.) and over 30 more at the same name (U.K.), personal email and face-to-face.
Past/Present Clients College students, military, divorced, people with romance in the workplace, substance abuse in relationships, emotional abuse in relationships, more.
Question Hi, my girlfriend broke up with me about 7 and a half weeks ago. Recently we have been spending time together again and have discussed getting back together, at first it was sort of awkward. I couldn't touch her or anything like that, but now it has progressed to a very good relationship, where she will even change in front of me. But we are yet o make out or fool around. I told her in our discussion that i wouldn't be trying to pull anyhting with her, but id really like to. What can you tell me about the best way to go about getting over this barrier and hump. I mean like i can put my hand on her leg and get close, see her in her thong and bra, so im dying for some. and really dont want to make a move to soon. Any advice is appreciated.
thanks Daniel
Answer Hi Daniel,
When a girl breaks up with a guy she puts up fences in her mind and heart and even if she's open to reconciling it takes time to regain "trust" and affection again. The relationship ended because of hurt. She wants to know she won't be hurt again. Until she regains that trust she won't have a joyful heart. Most women desire affection and sex when their heart is overjoyed or overly attracted to a man.
My approach would be to spend time together, do the things she and you enjoyed doing together, make time for her often while not being a lap dog (women dislike this), have conversations with her about her life, your life and discuss what went wrong. Admit your mistakes, apologize sincerely for them and have the willpower to correct those areas of weakness. Also think about her needs first and carry out thoughtful gestures to show her you care about her first, her body second.
When all this starts to happen consistently for a while, maybe a month or two, I think you'll find her walls start to come down, her heart to open up and she will desire affection and intimacy again.
