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General Dating Questions/Lost the "spark" in relationship


Hello, I was wondering if you might be able to give me a little insight or advice since everyone in my life right now has different opinions on this.
My boyfriend of 1 year and 9 months just broke up with me and his reasoning is he just can't find that "spark" we once had. He claims he does not know where it went, and for the past 2 months he has been trying to get it back, but it just doesn't seem to be working. He also mentioned that the "spark" could be gone because he is not sure if he is still "in love" with me. He is sure that he "loves" me, but not positive if he still is "in love" because the spark went away. Therefore he broke up with me to see if the spark might come back with some time apart. I have read on other sites that this happens in every relationship, the "honeymoon" phase wears out, and people become comfortable with each other. Therefore, the relationship needs an effort from both ends of the spectrum to keep it alive.
The couple questions I have for you are;
-Do you think time apart is really a "fix" for this type of relationship issue? Or should we be working through this in a relationship with each other to try and make things work?
-Is there anything I can do while we are not together to try and re-kindle that "spark?"
-Could there be a possibility that we lost that "spark" because we are always texting all throughout the day, every day not giving each other much space?
-If we were to try and work through this as a couple, what should we do to try and gain the spark back?

"time apart" usually means someone wants to see other people...absence could make the heart grow fonder, or grow further apart...hard to predict; texting all day not a good idea, but i doubt it's the main culprit; he needs to understand that you're not just gonna wait around, and that you will consider meeting/dating others...sometimes you don't realize what you had until you lose it; so, lower expectations to zero, show him you cn manage just fine without him, don't chase or appear needy, see what happens...  

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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