General Dating Questions/friendly ex?


Hi Larry,
I'm 30 and I was dating a single father who is 38 for about a year and a half. About two months ago, he ended things with me. I was/am devastated. We ended things amicably; we rarely fought or argued. Our issues stemmed from my lack of relationship experience and his bad experience with his ex wife. In other words, we got along with each other but we each had our own demons.

In any case, my question is in trying to understand why he still contacts me. Since the break-up, we've not seen each other, but he sends me texts once or twice a week. They usually say "hope you're having a good week," or something along those lines. Other times, without me asking or prompting, he updates me on his life- road trips with his daughter, playing with a new band, etc. Just two days ago, he sent me a long text. In it he apologized for putting me through an emotional rollercoaster (he really didn't) and thanked me for being there for him even when he wasn't at his best. I'm not really sure why he continues to initiate chit chat or why he sent that apology/appreciation text. I don't want to ask him so as not scare him away. I miss him and am glad we are amicable. Thank you for any advice and insight you can give me.

Weird.  Sounds like you may have been the rebound but he still cared enough for you to not hurt you more than necessary.  If you're devastated, you obviously didn't want it to end.  I'd tell him to either step up, or step off.  He may be trying to be a nice guy by sending you those texts, but in reality, he's doing much more damage to you.  Break it off completely if you know you're not getting back together.  Sooner or later you will.  No reason to stretch out the pain.

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Larry Luv


There are no questions that I can not answer. I am well known for my no-nonsense, straight to the point answers. My answers may hurt your feelings, but they will be the truth. I always try to do my best to help one understand the WHY, not just the how or what.


I have been a relationship counselor in various aspects for over 15 years. I have counseled people from the lowest levels of the community to the highest. My training includes a number of certifications in behavioral science.

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I have numerous certificates in behavioral science, demeanors, and non-verbal communication. I also hold a Bachelors in FWP Psychology.

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