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General Dating Questions/Still hung up on the ex


Hey Azure,

So I've been dating this girl I met on internet for about a month, we've met a couple of times (we're both in our early twenties), we live a hundred miles apart and we've had a good couple of really good dates.  

We've been sending emails, text messages and phone messages to each other regularly.  We enjoy each others company and it's going great. Long term potential is good. She phones me other day saying that like she's into me but she is also still hung up on her former boyfriend.   I'm still meeting up with her soon, but it's awkward, since I'm not sure how to act (as a friend, as a potential boyfriend whatever).

I've read generally on net the advice and that is 1) run a mile, as in the long run, I'll get hurt. 2) ramp up the physical aspect of the relationship with her.  3) give her the space and time and let her know that I'll be there for her and pick up things when she is ready.

I really don't want to stop contact cold turkey with her as she's not someone I'd meet every day.

What are your thoughts on this?



after 2 dates, i wouldn't worry about who she's hung up on. if she keeps saying yes to seeing you, that's all you need to, guess i don't agree with any of the advice; confident guy doesn't worry about other guys when the girl is choosing to see HIM...

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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