General Dating Questions/strippers


So i went to a boxing tournament and my coaches asked me if i wanted to go walking around the hotel. I said sure and we ended up going to this bar so i thought oh ok this is fine. We get in there and it turned out to be the strippers. Somewhere i told myself I'd never go because i think it's disgusting and demoralizes women. If my friends tried to take me I'd tell then to f**k off. So honestly i didn't realize it was the strippers because who has a strippers in a hotel?! Long story short i was in there fit about half an hour and felt suuuper uncomfortable. Anyways i made an excuse to leave but ifeel super guilty because my girlfriend doesn't know. She knows what i think about the strippers so i don't know how she would take it...she has said before that some things in or relationship she would rather just not know. Would this be one of those or should i tell her about it?

Hi Jordan, thanks for your question.

I've heard many cases of strippers being hired to show up at hotel rooms, so that's nothing new to me.  

This is a tough situation to be in, but you did the exact same thing that matches what you told your girlfriend - how you think the whole stripping thing is disgusting.  You got up and left.  If you were to tell her, be honest.  Say that you left, were very disgusted that they had these women in these rooms, and it made you feel uncomfortable.  You are being honest.  Tell her that you wanted to be honest with her, so that she knows you aren't hiding a thing.  

If you were to tell her, I'd approach it as such; tell her you were in a really uncomfortable situation after the tournament, and it really disgusted you.  Tell her that you went into a room that had strippers, felt uncomfortable and got up and left.  Just remember, you can't avoid these situations, but you can decide how to act.  Lots of times innocent parties with guys can turn into situations like this, but you can be the one who gets up and leaves.  That is what builds integrity and trust in a relationship.

I do believe that if your girlfriend trusts you and your word, she will appreciate the fact you stayed true to that word, and left.

I'm not a fan of keeping information bottled up inside, especially since you did exactly what would match your theory on these things - got up and left.

Hope this helps!

Elle :)

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Hello! I would be more than happy to consider questions you may have concerning dating. I do believe I would be best answering questions from those age 25 and up. I cannot answer questions which require me to determine if someone likes you based on their actions. If you have questions regarding meeting the right person, interesting and fun things to do on a first date or any date for that matter. I can also answer questions regarding basic relationship problems you may be having, such as not meeting the right person, how to figure out exactly what it is you want in a partner, or issues you may be facing in your current relationship. I cannot answer questions that deal with physical or emotional abuse or other psychological issues. Please be advised that I cannot read the mind of another person, therefore I cannot answer a question which involves me trying to figure out what someone is thinking. I cannot answer a question which ask "Does he like me?", or "What is she thinking?". In addition, I will not answer questions with vulgar or slang language.


I'm in my early 30's, and have definitely experienced quite a bit. I've struggled with trying to find exactly what I'm looking for in a mate, and I've also been in situations where I settled for less than what I was looking for. I have enough experience to know that you need a very close friendship with a person, and need to have things in common. I've been in long term relationships, so I can definitely help out in that category. Probably the best thing I've ever done was to take a break from the dating scene to discover who I was, and what I was looking for!

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