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General Dating Questions/Cell Phone Number Issue

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QUESTION: Hello.

I am in need of your advice on something. Last week, I went to visit my sick uncle at an elderly care facility and I found him at the lounge with other elderly people, and there was a rabbi present conducting a service. Every week they have something for Christians and Jews, and being Jewish myself, it was nice to see that for a change. Anyway, I sat down next to my uncle and patiently waited for the service to end so I could talk to him, when suddenly, the rabbi approached me and asked me my age. I told him I am 39 and he said that he knows a nice Jewish girl who is 34 and lives in Mexico City, and thinks we could be a good match.

Personally, I don't mind dating women who are not Jewish and I was certainly open to dating Jewish women as well, so I said that I was interested. He gave me her email address and a couple of days later, I emailed Denise and she responded by telling me that she is coming to New York to visit her family there on Christmas Eve, she will be there until January 5th, and said that she is looking forward to meeting me, have a few drinks and see what happens.

In my next email, I asked for her cell number, but at that moment, she emailed me back and said that she has just arrived at the airport and doesn't have a cell phone. Instead, she gave me her aunt's cell phone number. I didn't like that because at the end of her email, it said the following:

"Sent from my BlackBerry ® 3G Iusacell"

This clearly states that she does indeed have a cell phone, so who does she thinks she's kidding? If she is interested in meeting me, why didn't she give me her cell phone number? I am pissed about this and I am seriously considering sending her an email telling her that I am not interested.

How do you think I should approach this?

Best regards,

David

ANSWER: Hello David!

The very first thing to address is this: she's long-distance! No, no, NO! LDR's NEVER work out. The best you can hope for might be a fling while she's in town, but frankly, I wouldn't hope for that either consider the cell-phone thing.

What I'd do is to take her email and copy the "sent from" line and send it back without anything else and see how she responds.

Bottom line: being able to contact someone is the foot-in-the-door for dating; let alone a relationship. If she won't give you that, you have absolutely nothing to work with.

NEXT!!!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hello Dr. Neder.

Yes, I agree that LDRs rarely work. However, one of my best friends met his wife in another country and now they are happily married with children. I guess LDR do work, providing if both are willing to make the effort, correct?

Best regards,

David

Answer
Hello again David!

I'm not going to argue with you about LDR's. You have an example of one that worked. I have literally thousands upon thousands where they not only failed, but the people in them were left devastated - often taking months or even years to recover.

No, they don't work for tons of reasons I won't get into here. If you want to learn all about the psychological and emotional reasons for that, I have an entire chapter dedicated to LDR's in my new book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World III".

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: http://beingaman.com. You can email me directly at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

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I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

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Doctor of Philosophy

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