General Dating Questions/He Cheated


A few days ago me and my boyfriend were having shots. He had a lot of alcohol in his system and we were playing a question game, like have you ever. He began to tell me after a while into the questions that he had slept with our coworker when we were dating, a month into out relationship.
There had also been other problems with this female coworker of ours. I had found out they had gone to the movies together with a few other people and a other coworker  of ours ended up telling me he had his hand on her leg the whole movie. There had also been incidents in the work place when we would all work together she would openly hit on him and even slap his ass. I told him it had to stop. He said there wasnít much he could do; But after the movie incident we had serious talk he could no longer hangout or text this girl, or we were over, he agreed.
The coworker that told me about the movie outing also told me they, her the girl and him had also gone to parties together and they would hang out and talk and they would disappear for moments of time together.
Needless to say she just gave me a leery feeling of my boyfriend. So when he admitted he had slept with this girl which was known as a home wrecker around the work place as well. I was disgusted. He told me that he couldnít remember the time frame of when it happened and that he was very high and drunk, but that it might of been after the movie incident when I had said no more. He had gone over to her apartment to watch a movie he said they watched the movie and then had sex.
When I asked him why because we hadnít had a fight he literally replied because there was nothing better to do. We are now about three years into our relationship. As for our relationship its been very loving we donít fight a lot and we take care of each other. Iím here because I literally donít know what to do. I truly need real advice. Should I throw away three years of a realtionship when everything was going fine?

that decision is up to you; you have to look at the BIG picture, not just his infidelity; if you're truly happy with the relationship, and feel you can trust him to be exclusive going forward, i'd give him a pass, and a warning, that one more thing and you're out..

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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