General Dating Questions/opinion

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QUESTION: Question for you.

I was talking to a guy and he asked me on a date. I then bailed on him right before our date saying I had a stronger connection with another guy. He said "just remember you always have my number."

That guy dumped me the next week. I told him that. I went back to him and asked if the offer was still valid for a date and he said yes. He said "just 'cause it's you." And we've been going out ever since.

What do you feel about this? Would you ever give a girl a second chance?

This guy is skilled with women and has plenty of options... so I'm a little surprised I got a second chance with him.

ANSWER: Hello!

What do I feel about it? Well, I'm happy it worked out for you but he may not be as skilled as you think he is.

Personally? Unless a woman had a damned good answer, I'd never agree to be someone's second choice. I'm far, far too arrogant for that!   ;)

If she had a good explanation and could sell me on the idea, I might consider it, but that wouldn't include anything like:

* I met him first
* He turned out to not be the guy I thought he was
* We didn't fit
* He met someone else
...etc.

All of these things give me one important clue about this woman: she either makes bad choices for herself or she doesn't know what in the hell she wants. Either way, that's a deal-breaker for me. I just wish more guys felt like this. It makes everyone have to raise their game.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! Productions
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publisher of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III"
Producer of "BAM! TV"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I live 1.5 hours away from him. He told me the distance wasn't a problem at all. I told him next three months I would be at home not going out much and wouldn't have too much free time to date and he said it was fine.

He told me I was way out of his league.

Hmmmm.

There's still tons of other beautiful women that want him. He doesn't need to hang on to me. Why is he doing so? Does he like me a lot? Is he desperate? But he still gets hit on constantly.

Oh yea and first time we kissed he almost molested me in the car,

Answer
Hello again!

You're not instilling a sense of possibility in me with all of this. 1.5 hours away makes this a long-distance relationship and LDR's simply don't work out. I don't care what he told you.

If he told you that you are "way out of his league" you should probably listen to him. This is his chance to sell you (just as you should be selling him!) and he tells you why you shouldn't date him? Huge red flags are going off all over the place and you should be paying attention to them. Again, the fact that you don't see this isn't a huge confidence builder for me in this relationship.

What's with you girls and "desperation"? You're terrified of it and the fact is; nobody today is "desperate". We all have options - some we choose and some we don't.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! Productions
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publisher of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III"
Producer of "BAM! TV"

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

Expertise

I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: http://beingaman.com. You can email me directly at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

Experience

I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

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Doctor of Philosophy

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