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General Dating Questions/My boyrfriends ex is getting married


To start things off I'll tell you some background info.
My boyfriend and I are 10 years apart (which never was a problem.) We've been dating for a year, and everything until few weeks ago was perfect.

My boyfriend has always been open about his past, I know everything about him or at least that's what I thought . .

3 weeks ago he started acting weird, very distant, always quiet. I asked what's up a lot of times but he always said nothing. One day I asked him again what's wrong, and his answer was short, He said "She's getting married." When I asked who? he told me its his ex. (From what I knew he wasn't that into his ex obviously I was wrong). We got into a huge fight, from where I saw it, there was no reason why he's upset, unless he still loves her. After a day or two, he asked for my support and to be there for him. I really tried, listening to him, comforting him. But, I'm a jealous person and every time we discussed the issue I just got upset.

Last night, I demanded full details. (He has a habit of skipping parts that will make me upset). From what he said, they were together for 3 years, they wanted to get married, but he wasn't financially ready, she wanted marriage, and he told her to do what's best for her. So she left him. 2 Months after that he met me, and he said 'I helped him forget'
Now, I didn't know ANY of this until yesterday. I felt betrayed, I felt like a replacement.

I know he loves me, and he reassured me many times, but I can't help but think that every time he's daydreaming he's daydreaming about her. Or when he's with me she's on his mind. He said he only 'cares' for her, not love her, but for me it's the same thing.

He promised that he'll try to stop it from getting to him and he'll get back to the same guy he was a month ago. And I can tell he wants this issue to be gone already. We were so close, and this just created a gap between us. I want to be okay with it and move on. But I don't know where to start.

Should I continue to be there for him and comfort him? Deep down, I know he doesn't want to break up and I don't want to leave him either.

But what should I do?


I suggest you give it a little bit more time before you decide what to do. If he really can't get over her and she is the one who he has feelings for, and that stands between his heart and yours, then you can decide whether to break up or not. If it's just temporary psychological lapse on his part, then it would of course not be necessary.  

I have seen a few people who said that they didn't care at all about a particular ex, but then it would still bother them when that person would marry. Sometimes it's hard to explain the reason as to why people feel that way.



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