Question I was using my boyfriend's phone to send an email and in his inbox I saw an automatic email from an online dating site. He swore to me that he doesn't use it and its old. The email said he made the profile 9 days before he asked me to be his girlfriend so that worried me. (We have been together 17 months). In the first two months of our relationship I kept seeing notifications on his phone from a dating app called meetme. He deleted the app with no problems. After I saw this email I asked him to delete any dating profiles he has. He said OH MY GOD I DON'T EVEN USE THEM. I left it alone for about a week and then last night I texted him and asked him again to delete his profiles. He said he would do it and so I was waiting about a half hour for his response and he was making up excuses about why when he tried to delete his accounts online (not apps) that it wasn't working. He said he wasn't sure if it worked then he said he tried to reset the password but then finally after an hour after I asked him to delete it, he finally deleted it. I knew how to find him on the site so I was checking up to see if his profile was gone and then it was. I can't tell if his excuses were real or not but something doesn't seem right. Should I be worried that maybe he was trying to keep it? Or just be happy that he did delete it?
Answer it really doesn't matter, the bigger problem is lack of trust, which has led you to invade his privacy with all this checking up; whether or not he's interested in other women is something only HE knows, but if you can't trust him and have to constantly play detective, it doesn't make for a healthy relationship; you have to have an honest conversation about it, then either stop checking up on him, or find someone you truly trust..
expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon request...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks
Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.
BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.
Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and loving...ps..azure announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to wishuponastar-ct.com