General Dating Questions/Sex


Why does my new boyfriend only want sex once a month? We are 27 and 28. We have been seeing each other for 6 months. At first sex was great. We lived an hour apart so we saw each other on weekends. And would have sex once a day at least. He asked me to move in with him which i did about 2 months ago. Since then we only have sex once a month. I try and he turns me down most times. Too tired or stressed from work he says. It has put a huge whallop on my self esteem. He says he loves me and wants me forever and says that i do turn him on. ???? Recent i found a porn page up on our iPad after i was gone all afternoon. Why not wait for me to get home?? Especially since we have been trying to talk about this. I told him how it makes me feel and asked why he doesn't want me. He says he does and everything is fine and hes sorry. I always initiate lately when we do get to have sex. I am very much in love with him and want to make it work. I am trying to be patient because i dont want him to unless he wants me. Please help

big problem...he's obviously not being honest with you; he's either seeing someone else, become addicted to porn/masturbation, lost desire for you, or has a major physical/emotional issue; you need to INFORM him that the situation is no longer acceptable, and that he needs to HONESTLY talk to you about it, then agree to a plan to fix it; if he refuses and just goes back to those lame excuses, start packing..

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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