General Dating Questions/I want him back


Hi, I asked you a question about dating and homecoming below before.

So the guys that I was dating for about 3 weeks broke up with me. People had personally told me and pointed out that he was immature, etc. I didn't believe it until more people started telling me and then I too started to believe it. So he basically told me that he wanted to break up and see other people, and he said he didn't see me enough.

I usually saw him at least once a day during the week though. Anyways I texted him later asking why he really broke up with me, and he said that people told him I talked bad about him. I said to him and other people that he needs to grow up but nothing more. I guess he didn't think that I liked him but I really did. I just wasn't the best at showing it.

Then he basically shut me out for a week, but I still liked him, it made me like him even more. He said that he wanted to work back to what we had and that we could date again. But he wanted to be friends first. So I agreed and he shut me out again. I tried to talk to him but I could get a clear message that he didn't want to talk to me. So we talked it out and we talked more normally.

More recently I got my friends to ask him if he still likes me, an he said no. He said that he was just trying to be nice to me.

I am confused on whether or not he wants me back, or if he is really done with me.

Do you think that this just needs a little bit of time and we can get back together?

I still really really like him, but he is acting like he doesn't want to be in THAT kind of a relationship with me. How can I show him that I do care and want to be with him without seeming to desperate or needy.

Also this means that homecoming is off, but I still would like to slow dance with him, it is this sat, do you think that it's a good idea? How can I get him to dance with me and how can I reignite our relationship?

Hello Jenny!

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...

He's told you he's not interested. He's shown you he's not interested. What does it take for you to get the hint?


Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Doctor of Philosophy

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