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General Dating Questions/how long before sleeping with someone


Hi. I am in my thirties, but have not had a lot of dating experience or intimate relationships, only a couple of them.  (This is because of my self-confidence issues and anxiety, but I have and am seeking help for these and it is helping a lot.) My question is: A man is interested in me on a dating site that I am on, and I am interested as well. If we end up dating, what is an appropriate amount of time or number of dates that I should wait/go on before having sex- mainly to tell whether he is truly interested in me and having a relationship or if he just wants sex??  I know I have to go with what ultimately feels right for me, but I still would like some advice and guidance on this since I haven't had many relationships.  How long do you think a man will wait if he just wants sex?  I want to wait a bit but don't want to wait an eternity, either.  I don't want him to think that I will NEVER have sex with him.  Thank you for your help!

Hi Holley,

You do have to go with what feels right but 3 -4 dates would mean that this man has got to know you a bit which means he won't be seeing you as just a hook up for sex.

You don't have to stick to it because if you are in a situation where it arises and you feel comfortable, it'd be odd to push the person away. If you weren't ready to have sex with them yet, you just need to tell them you're not comfortable yet.

All the best!


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I can answer questions on how to meet people, confidence, what to do for the best dates, problems within relationships, how to interact with your partner and how to end relationships amicably and politely. More specifically, I am best at answering issues pertaining to trust, honesty, openness, fear and communication within relationships. It is important to know that everyone loves differently and we must first identify how a partner (or prospective) partner loves, in order to understand them. I cannot answer questions on whether or not someone sounds like they are interested, people are all different when they like or do not like people. I cannot tell you how someone may react or how a situation will end but merely offer you my advice on the subject.


I do not have professional experience in the area but my knowledge of psychology, teamed with forever being an agony aunt when it comes to relationships means that I have answered many questions on relationships and am proud to say I have seen quite a few relationships flourish with my advice. I am used to surveying people and guiding them in my daily working life. Due to this, I can read situations very well, often putting a much needed outside perspective to good use.

BSc (Hons) Psychology

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