General Dating Questions/Love


My boyfriend and I have been a couple for 8 months but were dating for about 4 months before that so in all have been together for about a year. Weíre both in our early twenties. Iím ridiculously happy being with him apart from one thing Ė he hasnít said he loves me.
The problem with this is that I am completely and utterly, head over heels in love with him. Sometimes I feel it so strongly that I feel like Iím going to burst and have to bite my lip to stop myself from blurting it out. He was my first boyfriend and Iíve never been in love before this or had anyone say they were in love with me, which I think is one of the reasons I want it so badly.
When weíd been together for 6 months I began to think that maybe he was too embarrassed to say it so I gently suggested that I wished heíd express his feelings more. He obviously took this on board because he started saying things like ĎIíve missed youí Ė which he never used to say. Recently though Iíve found myself getting really impatient with him. Iím surrounded by friends who are completely in love and when I tell them that he still hasnít said it, I get a sympathetic look back. Last week, I brought it up the Ďfeelingsí thing again and this time it was obvious we both knew what I was hinting at. He started telling me things about how he was happy with me and so didnít feel the need to rush etc and then he said ĎI had to lie to my last girlfriends about how I felt so I donít want to have to lie to you. I donít want to say or do anything until itís real.í I think by saying this he thought it would make me feel better but unfortunately it felt like heíd just torn me apart. While before I thought he was just too shy to say it, now I think he actually just doesnít love me yet. I of course acted cool and just changed the conversation but once heíd left I couldnít stop crying. I decided that I need to stop backing him into a corner and just let it be so I tried to ban myself from bringing it up again. Yesterday however, we were drinking alcohol together at a sports game and I found it harder and harder to hold back. I kept talking about our relationship, which turned into a bit of an argument until I just burst into tears in front of him. He was really confused and I told it was because I was tired and drunk but really I just felt so hurt that he doesnít love me. Iím really worried now that a lack of these 3 stupid words is going to end up running our relationship. Itís constantly at the back of my mind and I feel so annoyed at him for not feeling the same as me which I know isnít fair. Please give me some advice before I totally ruin everything!

Hi, Rebecca.

Thanks for a great question. I posted it on our forum without your name of course along with my answer. If you have any follow up questions, feel free to respond.



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