General Dating Questions/should i just move on?

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Hi Azure

A few months ago I met a girl when I was traveling over Europe.  She was on my tour group for 10 days.  We became reasonably friendly and I got her number on the last day.  She said she was also keen to meet up with me when she returned home (we are both from the same city in Australia).

We continued our separate ways and a month later, when she returned home after her travel adventures, I took her out to coffee.  That went really well and at the end of the first date she said she would like to have dinner with me.

I suggested dinner in a week's time on a Saturday and she said she couldn't as she had a friend's party to attend but suggested we go out Sunday night.  Unfortunately I couldn't do Sunday due to prior commitments.  I was also unavailable the following weekend as I was out of town.

Fast forward 2 weeks and I contacted her to make dinner plans.  This time she came up with some random excuse (like she had to be somewhere else that day due to work).  When I tried a few times to reschedule, she gave me some further random excuses.  

Eventually, when I asked her it appears she has changed her mind about me, she admitted she was seeing someone else at the moment and that it just wouldn't be fair to reunite with me.

I was obviously disappointed.  I decided I would just move on so I wished her well and didn't contact her further.

Fast forward a month and we both coincidentally moved to the same suburb (she is literally down the road from me!).  We also randomly bumped into each other on the bus the other week and sparks started to fly again.

She told me which street she lived on (although hasn't given me her exact address), and later that night sent me a message saying that it was great seeing me and that I could come over any time (she lives with 2 house mates so it appears to me if I did invite myself over things would be reasonably platonic).

I am not sure whether I should take this further.  I obviously really like this girl but a month ago she made it clear that she was seeing someone else so I really don't want to waste time and energy on a girl who appears to either just want to be friends or is stringing me along as a backup.

What do you think I should do?  Shall I just move on or try a different approach?  

She only came out of a 3 year relationship some 9 months ago and she is in regular contact with her ex as they remain good friends.

Logically it appears I should just move on but a part of me doesn't want to give up on her.  If I invite myself over her place (most likely her house mates will be around), rather than take her out on a proper date, we will probably just end up having a very nice and friendly conversation and risk being friend-zoned.

What do you think I should do?

Many thanks.

Cheers
Mike

Answer
ask her out for a drink or dinner; if she refuses, forget it, if she accepts, find out thru the evening's conversation where she stands as far as having a boyfriend; if she has none, proceed as with any girl, if she does, just tell her to call you if something changes..

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon request...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks

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Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and loving...ps..azure announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to wishuponastar-ct.com

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