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General Dating Questions/Asking out the cashier?


Hi James!

There's a really cute cashier girl who started working at the supermarket near my home a few months ago. Initially, I didn't think much of it but whenever I do go there (3-4 times a week) I've noticed she does look at me and make eye contact...while I'm browsing or in another queue to pay. A couple of times I've seen her looking at me while sniggering with her colleagues. Often, she'll randomly show up at the aisle I'm at for no apparent reason or she'll come over to the line I'm at and start talking to the cashier for that line (if its not too busy). Now, I realize these are good signs...but who knows might all be in my head. She does not seem overly talkative or peppy. So its hard to really say.

I want to ask her out . I have no problem with rejection but I have zero experience asking someone I barely know for their number. Should I be direct with her and ask her to go for a coffee? Should I give her my number? Should I make small talk a few times and then ask her out or should I just ask her out right away? I've thought of running into her outside the store after her shift ends but that seems very creepy.

Basically could you help me figure out an approach that is comfortable for her (since its her workplace and I don't want to put her on the spot). And if she says no...what should I say so its not awkward?  It all feels too difficult because I've seen her SO OFTEN and yet I can't just ask for her number. I'll have to make some kind of small talk, introduce myself AND ask for her number on top of that. I'm basically in need of help regarding how I should phrase it.  I think I have a decent chance...but since I barely know her I want to be direct but not too aggressive.

Any advice? Thanks in advance!!

Hi Michael,

Thank you for your message!

The good news is that I think she definitely likes you.  All the signs are there, so there's absolutely no harm in trying.

I'm wondering why you queue in a different one that she is in though?   Your first test should be to make sure you queue in her one next time, even if it is clearly the longest one.  That way you'll be able to really read her reactions.

Don't forget that a lot of people will make small talk with her - that's just part of her job.  So you need to do something a bit more.  Perhaps joke that hers is always the slowest queue or tell her you want to cook something but aren't sure what.  Could she give you a recipe?  Do this a few times over a period of a few days/weeks to build up the trust.  If you go in to quickly she might be too nervous.  Be friendly, smiling and interesting.

Your job is to make her smile, make her want to see you and brighten her day just by the very fact you've spoken.

Obviously you won't be able to have a long conversation with her as people will be waiting. could tell her that really enjoy talking to her and wish it could be longer. You'd love to get to know her better.  What steps could you take to make that happen?

Hopefully she will offer her phone number at this point.  If not, just ask her for it and tell her you promise not to send her photos of barcodes all day long!

Don't give her your number as you lose control - so make sure you get hers. You can then text her later that day/evening to ask when she finishes her shift and suggest you grab a coffee.

I really hope it works out for you, so let me know what happens.  If it doesn't go well, don't worry as at least you tried!

Best Wishes,


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James Preece


I'm the UK's leading Dating Coach. I'm the only Dating Expert to actually work in the dating industry and I'm happy to answer any dating queries you have.


I'm the UK's leading Dating Coach. I have worked with over 15 dating Companies and write regularly for many magazines and newspapers. Run several online dating websites and also

The Times, More Magazine, Scarlet Magazine, Men's Health,, Direct News, Fabulous Magazine and many more

I run several online dating sites and even met my fiancee through an online dating site!

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