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General Dating Questions/Trying to date, but keep meeting jerks


Hello there. I am a healthy 27 year old woman who is on the receiving end of horrible luck in dating.

I don't go out much so I resort to online dating sites or accepting the very rare request from a cute customer from work. Well so far, neither these options have led me very well. I end up meeting guys who immediately want to sleep with me before or on a first date. These ones have hidden this from me and pretended to be genuinely interested and when I declined all advances, they stopped contacting me. Granted, good riddance, but it still left me jilted. Others have hid truths from me that are very crucial, such as marriage, family, criminal records and amounting debt. All have left me feeling very frustrated, drained and even more lonely than I was trying to date...

I do suffer from depression, and I am fine with being without romantic attachments, but constantly meeting these types of men do not make me feel very good about myself when I already struggle as it is. No matter how much screening I do, questions I ask, put off exchanging of numbers and all, the result is still the same. I also feel very awful about myself because I cannot seem to attract any man I can find attractive myself. I know this sounds shallow, but I hate attracting those who are less than attractive to me... fat, completely nerd looking and socially awkward. I have dated those types when I was younger and found no matter how nice they were, I was never truly happy because my attraction to them was not there.... The few friends I have and family encourage me to continue to date those types because they are "nice".... As much as I want NICE I want attraction too... I cannot stomach to sit and dine with someone who is panting, sweating, sniffling, or checking the time to make sure he is not missing the Justice League... I want a man, not a boy...

But my quest to find a match is proving too much of a let down than anything. I don't want to settle, but I feel there's nothing for me.

Listen to me, I made myself sound so horrible... maybe this is why I am not finding decent men... because I myself am not... I don't know. I am told I am sweet, energetic, endearing and with lots of love to give... but all just want my body or as an asthma inhaler holder...

How can I deal with the let down that my love life has been bringing me? Why can I not find my prince charming like my friends?


Thanks for your question.    

First, many guys out there just looking to have sex. That's just how it is online and and anywhere else.  

Secondly, some things in your profile might be attracting the wrong kinds of guys. For instance, if you have photos that are  too suggestive and provocative and not much interesting written in your profile, it will attract the wrong kind of guys. Make sure that your profile stands out and shows that you are smart, interesting and/or funny woman who doesn't write what everyone else does, and post good photos, i.e.  -no slutty club photos, bathroom cellphone pics, etc...   

Also, check out the articles and the programs about online dating on our site at There is plenty of information and online dating tips there.   



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