General Dating Questions/Boyfriend's mom


Hi Michael,
Im 18 and I've been dating my boyfriend for a while, and I get along with his family great. He and my parents also have a great relationship. This week they left on a family vacation to Hawaii, which they invited me on a few months ago.I'm going to Mexico myself in a few weeks, and at the time of the invite we hadn't been dating long, so I politely declined. Today was their 4th day there, and they don't get back for another 10 days. Knowing we missed each other, his mom suggested I look at last minute flights and join them for a second week. I appreciated this, but it makes me feel like she thinks I'm sitting at home doing nothing but miss them. She talks a lot in ways that make my family/lifestyle seem inferior. They're a much more materialistic family than mine, and value things more the quality time. This is only one specific example, and it may not seem to you like she does feel superior, but do you have any advice on how to deal with her feeling superior to my mother and family? Thanks so much,

Hi Kayla,

Consider this. You have the power for how you chose to view a situation and feel about it. Maybe your boyfriend's mom is very confident and thinks she and her family are awesome. Maybe her pride seems a bit much to you or that what she values is different than what she was raised to value.  I don't know of all of the things she has said to you or to what extent they were specifically directed at you or your family and maybe she even is a bit of a snob. However consider that maybe you are being overly sensitive to something that she does not intend to be there. Perhaps if she both genuinely likes you and thinks that her family has an awesome life that she thinks inviting you to join them is being gracious and she is doing it because she likes you, not because she thinks less of you. If you were her and you genuinely liked your son's girlfriend would you want to make sure she didn't feel left out? If you thought being with you and your family traveling to exotic places was the most awesome thing every wouldn't you want to share the experience with others that you like as well?

Consider that you might be feeling a little left out, which is perfectly normal and regret feeling like you are missing out, even as you feel that you made the best decision for you under the circumstances. Remember you can't always control how other people think about you, but you can control how you think about yourself, and this will tend to lead one way or another to how others think about you too. Rather than ask how you can deal with her feeling superior to you and your family, ask how you can feel about who you are and what you are doing in life. It sounds like you have some good things coming up like a trip to Mexico.

Instead I would make a list of all of the good things you like about yourself, your family, what you are doing in your life. if you aren't entirely happy, ask yourself what things you would like to do that you aren't doing yet or that you will be doing in the near future.  

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Michael Hurst


I can answer almost all questions related to dating and sexuality including the nuts and bolts of particular situations and specific communication skills as well as questions related to self-image and self-development. However most of my work has been with men, singles and those newly single or divorced, to get very rapid results starting with specific actionable tactics while also applying powerful techniques from NLP and hypnosis for rapid personal change. I don't specialize in working with those already in long-term relationship dynamics or marriage however I have also continued to give advice and support to my single clients as they move into relationships. It has been my experience that the most powerful results come from focusing on who you want to become as a person, then you will more naturally attract the types of relationships that you want rather than having to try to force them. I believe that most people's frustrations come from when they are trying to force a situation to get what they think they want when it is not completely aligned with their system of beliefs. While I believe in the role of self-development my strongest selling point has been to get specific, measurable results quickly using applied psychology. Ultimately nothing is more motivating and empowering than being able to quickly make noticeable changes in the way you interact with other people.


I am an author, dating coach and speaker based in the Washington, DC area. I've been involved in the industry since 1999 and as a professional dating coach since 2008. I have taught thousands of clients through seminars, speaking appearances and in-person coaching sessions. My coaching goes beyond just knowing what to do or say in a particular situation, by teaching how to become the person who is naturally attractive. I have training in Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) and hypnosis. I am the author of the book "Become That Guy: Become Irresistibly Attractive" (2010, AuthorHouse) a book which offers specific actionable exercises that you can use to address the root causes of common challenges such as confidence and interpersonal communication skills. I am also the author of "Pickup: Real Life Adventures of Seduction" and the creator of the hypnosis CD, "Be Irresistibly Attractive," which gives you the ability to rapidly develop and use the ideal skills and frame of mind to present your best self to the world. I will also be featured in a chapter in an upcoming book "Mastering the Art of Success" alongside "Chicken Soup for the Soul" authors Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield, the subject of a documentary first released at the portfolio show for Art Institute of Washington graduates in 2012. I have also been a presenter at the world dating summit in Los Angeles 2010 and 2011, the Global men's dating summit in 2011, 12 and 13 in Washington, DC and the National Divorce eSummit in 2012 I currently offer several different seminars ranging from evenings to weekend long seminars on topics including online dating, text messaging, conversational skills to build chemistry and attraction and more. I offer coaching by phone through one-on-one phone calls, in-person "infield" coaching where we meet people in real-life settings as well as a comprehensive coaching program.

Bachelor in Political Science, American University, training in Neurolinguistic Programming starting in 1999, hypnotherapy and various sales methods including the Sandler Sales Institute. In addition to that I have taken trainings with many leaders in my field including Ross Jeffries (Paul Ross), David Shade, Brad P, Mehow, Jonathan Altfeld and many others.

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