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General Dating Questions/Men Obsessed with the Media?


QUESTION: Hi Michael,

There's a man I'm attracted to, but there's something I find very annoying about him: he's too into the media. I find this character trait to be very feminine because usually males are not into celebrity gossip. He is also especially into women into the media, which annoys me the most because women in the media are the looks of perfection which I'm not. The women are also very overrated and not worthy to be so discussed about. Can you tell me more about this type of men and their preferences?


ANSWER: Simple answer: If his interests and the meaning you give to them bothers you then don't date him.  Maybe you find this annoying and shallow and maybe even gay from your perspective. Or maybe the reason it bothers you is because you are trying to compare yourself to these "women in the media" and are jealous of them. Instead be happy with yourself and stick to spending time with men whose interests you admire or at least don't have contempt for. Consider that holding onto envy or resentment might not serve your best interests for finding happiness.

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QUESTION: I suppose it is easier said than done when I can just not date him. Is hard to get over someone, and I'm just wondering what type of men is he. But if is just a simple character trait I guess I'll just have to accept and follow your advice.

When you say you are wondering what kind of man he is, does this mean you want to no more about this guy or you want to attempt to create a rule that defines the set of beliefs, behaviors, attitudes, intellect, sexual preferences and libidos that a guy might have is obsessed with women media stars. Granted my first guess would have been to say he was gay and / or annoyingly a shallow  and you should set him up with Perez Hilton. However if you actually want to find out what kind of guy he is, then choose to set aside any preconceived notions and get really curious, almost like a true social anthropologist. As what is it about annoying media hot chick #1 makes her so compelling / popular, etc. and then listen without arguing. Listen to the words he uses at first with no judgment (you can do that later when you are on thinking by yourself.) Consider that what is most interesting is a certain social quality they carry about them, a certain self-assurance or boldness, willingness to take risks and run against the grain if she is right. Maybe you will find that the conversation shifts to other topics that you do have more in common. I can't tell you how many times I thought my being a huge college football fan might get in the way for me, but instead we often found common ground on other issues, or they became football fans :)

It is possible that underneath a facade of this man (who might also seem kind of gay) is actually someone who recognizes more than just how hot a woman looks and also values personality traits that are admirable.  Or there is the possibility that maybe even after you give things a fair shot with an open mind and  suspended a quick rush to judgment, that yes he is dumb, shallow, closeted gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) in a way that you find annoying and not date worthy.

If you want to find out if he is gay or not, and you think he is bangable enough (at least for the sake of setting your mind as ease as to whether he is gay or not) just make a direct pass at him like he is the hottest guy you would ever want to bang and see if he stops you. I can tell you this, straight men with a normal, healthy libido normally have a very hard time saying no to a sexy outfit and a woman who has her sights set on banging him.  Just dress in a way that emphasizes your goodies, put on some makeup and take the conversation in a sexual direction. Trust me, things will happen. Then you will either discover that A) He is gay and not interested in you or any other women B) Not gay, but for some strange reason passes up a chance for sex C) Will bang you at least once or twice D) Will bang you, and bang you, and become increasingly intrigued about you and then who knows where the story goes from there. :)  

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Michael Hurst


I can answer almost all questions related to dating and sexuality including the nuts and bolts of particular situations and specific communication skills as well as questions related to self-image and self-development. However most of my work has been with men, singles and those newly single or divorced, to get very rapid results starting with specific actionable tactics while also applying powerful techniques from NLP and hypnosis for rapid personal change. I don't specialize in working with those already in long-term relationship dynamics or marriage however I have also continued to give advice and support to my single clients as they move into relationships. It has been my experience that the most powerful results come from focusing on who you want to become as a person, then you will more naturally attract the types of relationships that you want rather than having to try to force them. I believe that most people's frustrations come from when they are trying to force a situation to get what they think they want when it is not completely aligned with their system of beliefs. While I believe in the role of self-development my strongest selling point has been to get specific, measurable results quickly using applied psychology. Ultimately nothing is more motivating and empowering than being able to quickly make noticeable changes in the way you interact with other people.


I am an author, dating coach and speaker based in the Washington, DC area. I've been involved in the industry since 1999 and as a professional dating coach since 2008. I have taught thousands of clients through seminars, speaking appearances and in-person coaching sessions. My coaching goes beyond just knowing what to do or say in a particular situation, by teaching how to become the person who is naturally attractive. I have training in Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) and hypnosis. I am the author of the book "Become That Guy: Become Irresistibly Attractive" (2010, AuthorHouse) a book which offers specific actionable exercises that you can use to address the root causes of common challenges such as confidence and interpersonal communication skills. I am also the author of "Pickup: Real Life Adventures of Seduction" and the creator of the hypnosis CD, "Be Irresistibly Attractive," which gives you the ability to rapidly develop and use the ideal skills and frame of mind to present your best self to the world. I will also be featured in a chapter in an upcoming book "Mastering the Art of Success" alongside "Chicken Soup for the Soul" authors Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield, the subject of a documentary first released at the portfolio show for Art Institute of Washington graduates in 2012. I have also been a presenter at the world dating summit in Los Angeles 2010 and 2011, the Global men's dating summit in 2011, 12 and 13 in Washington, DC and the National Divorce eSummit in 2012 I currently offer several different seminars ranging from evenings to weekend long seminars on topics including online dating, text messaging, conversational skills to build chemistry and attraction and more. I offer coaching by phone through one-on-one phone calls, in-person "infield" coaching where we meet people in real-life settings as well as a comprehensive coaching program.

Bachelor in Political Science, American University, training in Neurolinguistic Programming starting in 1999, hypnotherapy and various sales methods including the Sandler Sales Institute. In addition to that I have taken trainings with many leaders in my field including Ross Jeffries (Paul Ross), David Shade, Brad P, Mehow, Jonathan Altfeld and many others.

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