General Dating Questions/Not sure what to do


Hi Dr Neder

About 3 months ago I was seeing a guy casually for about 6 months and then it ended, due to a mutual agreement to take a break from each other. The reason for the break was me not really being aggressive and wild enough for him in the bedroom. His words. He said that if I was more aggressive then he would change his mind.

I have taken into consideration his comments and have tried to make changes.

Then this weekend,(3 months later) he sent me a message saying that he thought of me and wanted to know how I was and whether
I was more sorted out. we had a pleasant conversation and he said that he still thought about our last time together.

I'm curious to see if this contact will lead to anything or not. Ever since he contacted me, I think about what he has in mind. I asked him why he contacted me, but he just said that he was thinking of me. I don't know whether I want to be with him or not, but haven't told him, because this may change.

Also, if he wants me to be more aggressive, how can he decide without me seeing him? I don't know if I'm the aggressive type unless provoked.

I'm just confused. Do I broach the subject again with him or just ignore him?



Well, if you don't know what you want how can I tell you what you should do? Isn't everything from this point based on what you want?

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Doctor of Philosophy

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