General Dating Questions/Advice



We had been dating for 2 years and on the whole appeared to be a good match. However during that time, she was very insecure and would often check through my phone, for calls made and messages and at times accuse me of chatting to other woman/cheating (which was never the case). In hindsight, I guess I was partly to blame because I did not do enough to make her feel secure. Also I did not express my feelings often enough.

We had long discussions about the breakup in our relationship and she is still adamant that I did wrong. No matter what I say does not change her point of view.

Over a year has elapsed and we have remained friends. We still chat/bbm almost every day and spend time together doing activities on some weekends. But beyond that she does not want a relationship or to get back together.

The difficulty I have is that the breakup is based on her incorrect perceptions. If I had cheated, it would have been easier to accept the breakup because there would be a valid reason.

I would like to heal our relationship but unsure how to go about it. Your comments/suggestions on the way forward will be appreciated.

Well it seems like you two are not going about the break up in a logical way, at all.

In order for the both of you to fully heal and move on, you two need total disconnection. And by doing this, one needs to completely cut off all communication, no seeing each other, or hanging out on weekends.

As for your relationship. Though her invasion of privacy was definitely a sign of insecurity, you see yourself that you had no reassured her that your relationship was strong enough for her to feel loved and secure all throughout the time spent together. The problem most of the time is the lack of loyalty one has for another. The reason why she felt she had to look through your phone and had sense of suspicion was because you gave her a reason to. Though you may not have done anything blatantly, like cheat on her, you still made her feel like an outsider in the relationship (according to what you explain to me). This means, when you two are together everything is perfect, right? You two are having fun? Laughing? Excitement? That's because when you two are together you two feel the unity. But the true and honest meaning of unity is when you two are not physically side by side but your souls are still intertwined. You two are ONE instead of two separate entities. This feeling of separation and suspicion on her part, is because somewhere along the lines of two you not hanging out together, she didn't trust that you were keeping your relationship sacred and holy. As it should be.

How can you fix this? Be loyal. Show her your loyalty. Work on yourself as an individual to attain a loyal characteristic. Be loyal and you shall have a unified relationship.

G-d Bless.


General Dating Questions

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




I can answer almost everything. I am religious person who strongly believes in G-d. If spiritual guidance is also something that you are seeking for, then I am careful and competent in that region. I am also very aware that it's hard to ask for help, with that being said, I am sensitive to others feelings and have gone through hardships in relationships, which demonstrates a quality of empathy and consciousness when it comes to everyday dating situations. I can answer break-up confusions/confusions in dating in general. I can NOT read minds and can answer to the best of my ability in regards to the detail you provide me. With that in consideration, please do not send me pages of information. Pick the most important and effective way to explain the problem and we can make this our problem and our solution together.


I have been in confusing relationships. Most of all I was in a 5 year relationship that really helped me in developing my intellect and sensitivities, which also played a huge role in discovering myself and those around me.

Chai Life Line; deals with special needs children

Bachelor of Arts in English Literature Certified teacher in Canada; recognized internationally

©2017 All rights reserved.