General Dating Questions/Virginity



I'm not sure if this is the right category.

If someone were to receive and give oral sex, and were to be fingered by someone, does that make the person still a virgin?

What is the true definition of a virgin and the true definition of losing one's virginity?

Thanks for answering this

Hello T!

The definition of virginity is never having had sexual intercourse. Specially, the insertion of one's penis into one's vagina.

Thus, according to the strict definition, exchanging oral sex, penetration with fingers and toys and even anal sex doesn't change a virgin into a non-virgin.

However, that's not really the end of the story.

While the definition itself is clear the practical application of the term and it's usage are not so much. Many people include any sexual act involving the genitals as relieving of one's virginity. So, at least in some cases, it depends on whom you talk to.

In my opinion, virginity is highly over-rated by many. The benefits of getting rid of that stigma to your health and future happiness far outweigh it's value.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

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